What Do I Say To That Man?

[abbeylee90]

I guess you know I mean guy from dogs home but he sent me message asking if I wany to go for lunch this week and I haven't replied. We'll someone at dogs home who use to work with him said be very careful as he is a perv and arrogant got a thing with blondes and disabled people. Yesterday I was walking and he pulled over he got a new car so didn't recognise him straight away so from there he gave me a lift and asked has anything changed in my life as I don't come out no more and not myself I said no. What do I say now to this?

[Hazlinny]

Simple thing would have been to refuse a lift in his car - was this back to your home or elsewhere?  You keep saying that people say "be careful" yet you continue to accept lifts.  Can't understand you.  Is it quiet at work todaqy?

[abbeylee90]

No when I was walking down the dogs home he pulled up on the left and I didn't recognise his new car so he pulled and asked do i want to a lift down as he was going. I am happier now but see how it goes also need new job mostly

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, these things are separate. You continuing to take lifts from and have chats with the old guy is ... simply pointless (especially now you've taken to slagging him off most of the time).  Yes, it'd be good if you got a decent job - but it has nothing to do with how you treat people - 'pervy arrogant' guys included. Why take a lift from him? 

[abbeylee90]

I am happier now I got a date this do I tell this and hope he will stop?

[pastafreak]

Just tell him you've been busy...work, social life etc. He doesn't need details.

[Hazlinny]

Abbey/ Are you at work today - laundry must be quiet?  Better to concentrate on work than worry about the men in your life?

[bednobs]

having a date is completely seperate from how you interract with "That man".

Or are you saying if you didnt have a date, you'd treat him differently?

[andres]

Why on earth can't you  be honest with this man and tell him you do not want anything to do with him? It's not as though you're a stranger to dates, boyfriends, break-ups etc. You're not a naive teenager so stop acting like one. 

[abbeylee90]

No I wouldn't I've been told by a few people be careful that irrelevant to me having a date

[bednobs]

then why bring it up?

what makes you think our answers will be an different from the last 4 times you asked this question? why keep asking?  

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, for months now you've been faffing around with 'Well, if I get a boyfriend, I won't be having anything to do with [old guy]'... and then going on to tell us how awful he is anyway! Why are you letting him take up any space in yourr mind, and your life? Wouldn't you like to actually move on now? It'd be awful if you keep going through 2024 with 'What do I say...?', that question, like the old guy, is well past its Use-By date!

[Canary42]

Abbey, his behaviour almost amounts to stalking, which  is against the law - tell him this very bluntly otherwise he will persist, that's what pervs do.

[Prudie]

I'm with bednobs except I'd say you've raised it about 10 times. I can't believe I know so much bad stuff about some poor guy in his 60s from South Wales who won't wear a branded Hi Vis to walk dogs.

I hope he never finds this site and sees what you've been saying about him. At the end of the day you don't care a jot what we all think you are just desperate to communicate online and this site is desperate for you to continue doing so.

[abbeylee90]

I still haven't responded 

[Captain2]

'I still haven't responded'

No, and you haven't responded to the many, many questions that you have been asked on here either.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, that's a start! And next time you bump into the guy, don't accept a lift, don't get chatting like you did a week or so. 

[Hazlinny]

Abbey/  You have known this man for quite some time yet you comment on what other people have told you about him  .. what is your truthful opinion about him?  You must have learned quite a bit about him while you have been in his company.  

[scorpiojo]

I don't think that offering Abbey a lift amounts to stalking, not that he's a "perv", just because that is someone's (alleged) opinion of him. Abbey obviously was comfortable in his company. 

[scorpiojo]

*nor

[abbeylee90]

I mean I haven't responded to him I can say no but very may question