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Why Could I Be Struggling To Get A Boyfriend?

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abbeylee90 | 17:37 Sun 03rd Mar 2024 | Family & Relationships
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I know this might sound abit needy but feel like guys don't like me they speak to me on dating apps but seems they on it for a laugh as don't ask for a date. I know years ago it my fault I went on few dates and covid got in the way but made no effort ever since my luck with guys been going wrong.

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How do you know, Abbey?  What gives you that impression?

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I leave them alone if they reject or don't message first

I keep telling you, Abbey, but you don't listen - far less do you act on advice.  Sort your life out regarding a job and that will give you some self-esteem. Do things you want to do - not what your friends want (which seems to comprise going out for bottomless brunches) and develop your own interests.  Stop chasing men in other words. Ignore them.  Do what you want.

Be yourself, develop your own life and you will be a more interesting person......... this will attract more interesting men in time, but the important thing is that you will have a better life.  I'm getting tired of telling you this.

Maybe guys want a girl who's confident...and who does call them. Or one with a sense of humour and a bit of silliness. 

I too think you really need to meet someone in person...and give yourself time to get to know a person. Not everyone comes across as Mr perfect relationship material from the start.

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All is go to bed early latley

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Jordauin do you mean if I don't have a socail life?

I think that jourdain means that you should get the rest of your life sorted and forget about your social life for now.  Forget about finding a man.

You need to get a job that you are capable of doing.  If you find the right job you will meet new people and gain experience.

You also need to stay in that job even if you are not enjoying it.  You need to be reliable and keen to learn and to work hard.

What about going to college?  Learn new skills whilst mixing with people?

 

College would be a good idea even part time.  Get some advice from your local jobcentre.  You do need to improve your communication and confidence  skills.  It would help you a lot and you would meet some new people too.  Forget about getting a boyfriend for now and don't go on dating sites!

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And study what in college?

Whatever they suggest that might appeal to you.  Perhaps in the catering industry, retail?  You need to get some new skills.  Perhaps some new computer skills.  How about becoming a post lady.  My young friend (your age) has a degree in textiles, but loves her job as a postie and it pays well.

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I've worked in the catering and retail sector. Something I may enjoy

Being single isn't a bad thing.  

You could find yourself a job perhaps in a clothing store.  The main thing is to improve your confidence and communication skills and spend less time on here.  You hsvevbeen given so much help now you have to take our advice.  Stop dithering!

//Why Could I Be Struggling To Get A Boyfriend?//

I wonder,,,,

Countrylover its all very well you telling Abbey she needs to improve her communication and confidence skills but that is not easy for someone with her problems.  

 

Its like telling someone in a wheelchair to stop moaning and get up and walk.  

There might be some useful information on these sites.

https://www.adultlearningcardiff.co.uk/

https://www.intoworkcardiff.co.uk/

Lankeela , I know full well by experience what it's it's like to be told to try and get up and walk as much as possible so I do try.  I don't ignore and moan continuously.  My suggestions and others about how she improves things might well improve her confidence.  

Generally, people in wheelchairs don't moan anyway.  

I am talking about people who physically cannot walk!  Abbey's problems are not something she can just ignore and get on with life.  Her dyspraxia and other possible conditions make it impossible as people with those conditions struggle with communication and emotional responses which most people find easy to deal with.  

Well said, Lankeela.  Understanding is often in short supply here.

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