34 Year Old Man Casually Hooking Up With 17 Year Old Who Approached Him First?

[throwawayask]

I'm 34 and got socially murdered by everybody I know because I accepted an invitation to hook up with a 17 year old girl I'd never spoken to before and when i saw my friends next I told them and they went weird and days later everyone knew and it was a big drama now i've got no friends left.  The girl chased me up, we flirted a bit, she invited herself over and it was just harmless fun, i made sure she got home safe after and we slowly stopped speaking afterward.  

Did I deserve this? I feel like i've done nothing wrong.  She got what she wanted and we both moved on no feelings hurt by either party.

But everyone I know is acting like i'm a criminal, saying it was statutory rape (again, UK), saying i'm a predator, unacceptable etc.

Are they right?

[bednobs]

People are weird, and should wind their necks in

 

[pastafreak]

You could have said no...you had a choice, harmless fun or not.

[bednobs]

But why should he?

I suppose I'm probably a bit biased as I had a medium term relationship with a 34 year old when I was 17

[pastafreak]

Bednobs, I get the impression that the 'climate' has changed somewhat in recent years. Maybe OP was naive in telling friends. 

[barry1010]

It's not statutory rape if you are in the UK where the age of consent is 16.

[naomi24]

Your friends were talking nonsense.  They're not friends.

[bednobs]

I mean in all honesty my family at the time were quite surprised/shocked, my friends never said anything.

You're probably right in the fact that the climate has changed somewhat though since then as it was eons ago

[throwawayask]

I know it's not statutory rape, she was a stranger so shouldn't matter.  I'm disappointed in my friends who dropped me like a bag of doggy doo as soon as I told them, and then spread it like wildfire and a bunch of other people in my circles have labelled me horrible things and made me unwelcome virtually anywhere I normally go.

But is a casual hook-up with a 17 year old predatory for a 34 year old man?  When she's the instigator?  

[ToraToraTora]

they are not your "friends" you did nothing wrong.

[Atheist]

You sound as if you don't have any concern about the girl, you're just worried about yourself. I wouldn't condemn someone who did the deed, but your attitude sounds unpleasant. What happens if she becomes pregnant? For you it was just a careless thrill, but it could affect the course of her life.

[throwawayask]

Re: Atheist, i used protection, she was on protection herself, and i pulled out as well so i think we are covered.

Why would I be concerned about her?  She was the instigator, she got what she wanted, enjoyed herself, home safe, moved on, no negative feelings from either party and no chance of falling pregnant.

It was a careless thrill on her part, from start to finish, and I've been demonised over it to the point of being afraid of living my life.  What's unpleasant about the way I explained the situation?

[ToraToraTora]

thing is me old china, you seem like you bragged to your "friends" you didn't have to do that.

Anyway this whole thing sounds like a wind up to me.

[Atheist]

I don't know you so I cannot reasonably criticise apart from what you posted. I do think that you are feeling a bit sorry for yourself; if you think your 'friends' are being unfair, then you'll have to put up with that, and perhaps stick to friends who don't persecute you.

[barry1010]

You need to learn to keep your sex like and hook ups private

[throwawayask]

Totally agree i should have kept it to myself.

It's not a wind up, this really happened.  I didn't brag to my friends I am just very open with my life and it's quite unsual for a girl to pursue in such an aggressive manner.

[RandyMarsh]

How do you feel about it now?  In that situation i would be flattered and tempted but twice her age?, it would be a no go for me, unless she talked cricket and knew her stuff. 

17 is still young, still in education, cannot apply for credit, cannot drink. Being legal does not make it right imo.