What should I do for the best

[dannyandjack]

Hi
I have just found out what my wife has brought me for my birthday. A friend of mine saw her buy it. It isn't something that I ever really mentioned that I wanted. I know it cost best part of �200. I want to tell her that I know and how I feel, but don't want to upset her. I know I wont use what she has brought. I cannot just come out and say that I know because of my friend, but I also don't want to wait to open it and pretend that I like it. Its also gonna take up quite a lot of space that we just don't have.

[drchasuble]

Honesty is definitely going to be the best policy here. She may be a little hurt initially but she should understand. If you do lie and say you like it she'll just end up being hurt in the long run anyway when you don't use it.
In my family we always write a birthday wish list and stick to it. It may take a little of the surprise out of it (I don't mind personally - I loathe surprises) but surely that's better than being disappointed?

[Lore]

I agree with the first reply.

my fiance is so difficult to buy for and it's not that he's ungrateful or trying to be awkward, he just has a specific taste that's not so easy to find (if you catch my drift)

I've bought several things for him and I'd say 8 out of ten times I've had to return the item/product. Although I sometimes feel a bit of a failure not being able to get it right I'd still rather he was honest with me.

I quickly get over getting it wrong but I'd be really upset if he pretended to like it and then put it away in the hope it'll never be found again.

Good luck. :)

[Pea Pod]

Always the diplomat me. Can you find it on the internet or in a catalogue and by way of passing say "I`ve never wanted one of those but I suppose some people might like them".

[dannyandjack]

Hi Thanks for your answers. I really think I should say something, but its just how and what to say. Pea Pod, I think I will do what you suggest. At least that way she could take it back and get something else without knowing that I knew what the gift was. It will still be hard though. I am very hard to buy for so this hasn't helped her.

[NORMANTHEDOG]

you ungrateful fcuker

[WendyS]

Maybe over dinner you start a frivolous question about Christmas and the 5 worst presents somebody could ever give you. Get your wife to start first. and then add your contribution. But don't list the article she has bought for you as No 1 - that would be a little too obvious.
If you don't have the courage to do that and wait until Christmas day, you'll just have to open it blank faced and tell her "It's not really my scene - Would you mind terribly if I swapped it for something else as I'd hate to see the money wasted.".

[joko]

caz - er... thats what he said in the question....of course he hates it!!


dannyandjack - you should think of something you really do want - of a similar price - and ask her to get that for you for xmas

that way she will just think - "oh well i can take the other thing back or swap it" - she won;t feel bad or that she has chosen badly then

if she says she has already got you something, just say you really really really want this other item and please please please can she swap her 'surprise' item

you then have 12 months to let her know that you dont want the other thing in case she plans to get it for you for next year

[pennychoo]

er............ thought it was a 'birthday present?' (or is your birthday at Christmas?

[gnome1999]

I like the idea of suggesting what you would like - if she has no idea what to get you you can't moan if she gets the 'wrong' thing! Good luck!