Multiple Sclerosis and relationships

[GMH]

I am a single man and recently I have been a member of a dating website for disabled people. I have had recent replies from a female who is also a member of the same website who is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis � about five years younger than myself. I have spoken to her on the telephone and her speech is not perfect, which seems to affect her communication, which is probably as a result to the condition. According to her picture on the website she looks quite good looking.

As a single man who has hardly had any serious relationships I would really like to get to know her better. She lives about 125 miles away, which is one problem and the other problem is that I know very little about Multiple Sclerosis (I am looking at websites about the condition). My main question is, does Multiple Sclerosis provide a barrier regarding communication - talking etc? I hope not - the fact that she lives so far away and her disability doesn't look too promising for a positive relationship. I know that the vital tools for a successful relationship are good communication, so I would like to know about this.

[bednobs]

i think its hard to judge communication skills by phone, and i think it would be very different face to face. Ms affects people in different ways, although i dont think it commonly affects speech. It could be all manner of things that affect her speech, not least of which is nerves on the phone to a stranger. if you would like to get to know her better, as you suggest then maybe you could make the decision as to whether to carry on when you do know her better, mutually with her (after all, she might think your communication skills with women are crap too!)

[jacobsmummy]

My dad was diagnosed with MS about 15 years ago, and he is still enjoying dating various women (the scoundrel)! granted hes not as interested as he used to be and yes he has bad days/weeks but for the majority, hes a charming reasonably active man.
Dont let MS stand in the way of a possible relationship with this woman if u like her, its not her condition ud be dating, its the lady.
good luck :-)

[wazzaa]

Hi GMH
If I were you I'd arrange to meet her and discuss the matter, openly. MS sufferers often feel isolated because other people feel embarrased to broach the subject. I've had MS ( relapsiong and remitting, the best sort to have!) for 23 years and have found that your more distant mates tent to skirt around it, but closer friends will allow a tirade of frustrations, amongst other things. So, yeah, go for it, find out which type she has. obviously, 'primary proigressive' isn't nice long term, because there isn't long term to have. R/R is at most just a pain in ar*e, not always debillitating. A lot of the effects are due to frame of mind and how you approach subjects like this, I seem to cope with relapses much better than some others. Others seem to crumble, I think, due to weakness of character. It also helps if you have 'someone' there to bear your frustrations, if any. I could go on like this for always, but it gets boring. Good luck mate, you only get some opportunities once, this could be it. salutations
Caz x

[loopyloo08]

Hi GMH, i have recently been diagnosed with MS,i am 34,have a beautiful son of 10! I'd like to just comment on "in a pickles" post. - My illness is not terminal,i am not likely to die-i have spent a lot of time researching this fact so i could tell my son the facts. I work in the community with MS clients and i have MS,i would consider myself as fairly knowledgeable on the subject,and it will not kill me - the condition lives with me,i do not live with this condition..My mother also has MS,her life has changed to adapt to this,as has mine,but mine has changed where i have met a handsome soldier,who knows exactly what i have,and loves me because i am ME,not someone with MS. Those 2 little letters scare people so much,but you know what...the person you are chatting to, has obviously created that bit of a spark for you,whether she has MS or not. I know it must worry you about her speech,but i bet all the questions you need answering will be answered impeccably by her,because she knows herself better than anyone else,she is the expert. Give this prospective relationship a chance,cos she just might be the ONE!