Grandson's playing with fire!

[lizzydrippin]

My 8 yr old grandson is going through a phase of playing with fire (well Im hoping its just a phase). It has'nt been a problem when he's at his own home, just when he spends the weekend with me (around every other weekend or so) though that could be just because he has central heating and we have a gas (real coal look) fire and an electric fire (the 3 bar sort). Ive caught him a few times messing around with bits of paper or Ive found melted bits of plastic on top of light bulbs (table lamps). Ive gone form scolding him about it to explaining how dangerous it is and what awful injuries he could end up with if he burnt himself. I thought I may have got through but a few days after he left last weekend I was hoovering in the front room and moved a cat basket to find two burn marks in the carpet. I phoned my son (his Dad) and told him. He phoned me back a little later to say that my grandson had admitted he had caused the marks by setting some paper alight and then dropping it on the carpet and stamping it out. I told my son I'd talk to my grandson when he comes to stay on Saturday. Im wondering now where to go next.

[redcrx]

call your local fire station. Ask if they can have a word with him about the dangers of fire. They usually have days where they visit schools and give age related lectures on the dangers of fire. Im sure that they can either send someone to have a chat to him or send you out literature for you to sit him down and have a serious talk with him.
All kids have a natural curiosity towards such things and at times they dont know the boundary between just wondering and actually doing such things.

Many years ago my neighbour found her 3 year old daughter had used a lighter (carelessly left by parent) to light her dolls pram blanket. I was there as her mum explaned to her that it could set the house on fire, then burn all her toys, her mummy and daddy, her baby brother, then spread to my house and burn me and my husband. All through this the little girl just sat fascinated. Eventually i said to her that if my house burnt then my 3 cats would also be in danger of burning. At this point the little girl broke down crying and saying she didnt want the cats to burn and got very upset. She didnt do it again, but i think her mum was a bit peeved that the family came second best to the neighbours cats.

[redcrx]

Ive just spoken to my boyfriend about this as he is a retained fireman.
He says the same as me, call your local station. It will depend on what area you are in as to how they can help.
He did also say that there is a very small risk that the excitement of meeting a fireman etc can tempt children into doing more but its rare.
Other than that he said that those kids that do such things and arent stopped by a talking to often continue until they get hurt, the problem being that getting hurt can be just a small burn from a match or something far more serious.
I hope that your grandson learns that its unsafe and very very quickly.

[nicksmum]

I can certainly agree with redcrx on this one,my elder son went throught the same phase when he was about seven,I told him the dangers but it didn't really sink in until he tried to set light to a box of matches that he found in the street,unfortunately he burnt his thumb through doing it,however it cured him of the fascination and has never touched matches again.

[lizzydrippin]

Thanks for your answers and I had wondered redcrx whether the fire service could be of any help, Im certainly going to give them a ring and see what they suggest. I cant help hoping that he would get a minor burn so he'd realise just how much it hurts but there's no gaurantee that next time he 'experiments' wont lead to a major accident. I'll be keeping a close eye on him anyway.

[jeanette1]

Hi Lizzydrippin,
My son had a similar fascination with fire when he was 6, he is now 29. He used to poke sticks and paper in the gas fire. I eventually, after some considerable thought got some boxes of matches and told him that if he wanted to light them he was to ask me for them and I would supervise him with them. (I also spoke to Child Guidance who agreed that this was the best thing to do). Over the next three days he asked for the matches and sat on the kitchen floor and struck every match in the boxes into a fireproof dish. After this he seemed to have got the fascination with fire out of his system and we had no further problems. It is very frightening when your child has this fascination, but if you can let him explore in this supervised way it may help. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
Jeannette1

[lizzydrippin]

Thanks alot for your answer Jeanette1, that sounds like an excellent idea if it goes the right way like it did with your son and got the whole thing out of his system. I'd be abit worried that after the matches had run out my grandson would be hassling for the next box and thinking it was great fun or maybe it would even fan the flames of his fascination (excuse the pun) and he'd want to go on to burning larger things than matches. Great that it worked so well with your boy though (does he remember I wonder?)

[jeanette1]

Hi Lizzydrippin,
Yes my son remembers it very well. I know that I was worried sick. I was probably very lucky that supervising him and using the matches was eventually very boring for him, and maybe the boredom factor helped. Also being allowed to do something that he knew he shouldn't (cos he did know he shouldn't) may have helped. Phoning what used to be called Child Guidance also helped to put my mind at rest as they listened to my worries. Not so easy nowadays to get advice when you need it. Hope that things will be okay with all of you and that you have a lovely Christmas.
Jeanette1

[lizzydrippin]

Thanks Jeanette1, Lovely christmas to you too.

[chaotica]

i know Im going off at a tangent here but it seems to be a Boy thing! I dont ever recall My sisters or any other female I know having the same desires as me to set everything on fire..Which i stopped doing when i burnt myself on the arm with a melted biro.

[lizzydrippin]

Ban the BOYS!