I think revenge is necessary here.
Open up all his cans of beer because a) it needs time to breathe, and b) surely he wants the authentic 'real ale' experience (ie flat).
Then find a nice football video, or something similar, and record your favourite soap/drama/daytime telly programme over it. Make sure it's an important match or something, and then say, "well, it was old, so you didn't need it anymore".
Or you could serve him a plate of mushed up paper for dinner (it's quite good mixed in wallpaper paste, I'm told)!