my partners children

[julaz99]

Hi,
I have been with my partners for 6 years now,and he has two girls from a previous relationship.I dont see them very often as it is believed that his ex will make things awkward if they are with me too much.

My partners parents are in an awful position and I see them rarely also,they love their grand daughters so much they are terrified of not being able to see them.

My partners ex still goes for tea often to the parents house but on Christmas day I was invited,his ex had other plans, when his ex found out I was going there she rang and said she was coming, it made everyone worried and uncomfortable so I left quickly.

This situation drives me mad sometimes but I also understand .Any advice please....help.

[yummymum]

Sounds to me like this Woman loves having you fuss around her, you shouldnt have left at Christmas looks like she got the reaction she wanted. Maybe there is more of a history between you both than you have said but what ever the situation you are all adults and you all need to be able to move on and try and get along even if it was only for the childrens sake.
It might be a long shot but why not invite her and the kids out for a day? Maybe a pub lunch or all off you take the children to a indoor play area anything which means your all on nuetral ground, this way you are all more likely to relax. If this woman wont agree to meet up then reason that all you want to do is get on with her or at least be civil if only for the sake of the kids. What ever happens you need to stop fussing around her be brave, next time stay were you are hold you head up high she needs to realise you are there for good.

[boyfriend]

l know how you feel,my ex boyfriend had three children and his ex made it so hard between us that after 8 years together we have split up as he will not have a bad word said against her,we still have to live in the same house as we co own it together and he is making my life hell

[parkers]

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it seems to me that he is too keen to please her and not you.
I have been in exactly the same situation where my partners whole family would walk on egg shells around her, not tell her what they really thought of her behavior incase they upset her and she stopped them seeing the child.
I think that you need to have a very serious conversation about exactly why your partner is still letting this carry on.
If you are a part of his life then you should be a part of his children's life, and it really is as simple as that.
How much longer will you be able to be pushed to the side?
You are worth more than this believe me.
If he truly loves you then he will confront her and tell her that you are here to stay.
Once she realises this things will get better, but until he and his family stand up to her it will always be the same.

x

[julaz99]

Thankyou all very much,
All your advice gave me food for thought and I talked to my partner at length about all of the things that I was concerned and unhappy about.
His girls came for tea last night and we all had a great time,I feel like this is a new beginning and if there is a backlash from his ex we can deal with that later.

wish me luck :)

thanks again

[shanx]

i had this problem when my son split, and i had two grandsons she treated me so bad,when they were together and i took it for the sake of my son,then when the children were born it got worse,and i couldnt take anymore of the emotional blackmail,i have let go and know my grandsons love me will understand,unfortuneatly my son is draging his new partner,across the country to see his children and the mother is rubbing her hands,i am worried that my son is going to lose the nice partner he has.