Sleepless 4 year old

[footiefan]

Need help with my four year old daughter's sleep pattern!! - me and her dad both work full time and she is constantly wakening every 2 hours for no reason at all - we are both exhausted and irritable with one another!! - have tried reward charts etc but it doesnt seem to work - anything else we can try?? - any help would be much appreciated!! - forgot to mention - some nights so we can get some sleep she comes in the bed with us and she sleeps for 11 hours solid!!!

[meltoadhall]

well you have answered your own question, she wants to sleep with you.
all i can suggest is that you just keep putting her back to bed, no talking or lights on and take it in turns until she gets the message. it sounds more like a habit than a real need, does she need the toilet or is she upset?
otherwise just keep putting her back - dont get cross or react to it.
good luck

[Lonnie]

I don't know how feasible this could be, because obviously its a contact thing, and she misses you, so is it possible for one of you to be at home with her?.

[jo90]

Not that this is of any consolation but in the dark ages every member of the family slept in the same bed. It's actualy a relatively new phenomena for people to sleep in beds on their own. Having said that - my son was hopeless at sleeping on his own and I continualy let him get into bed with us (which meant I was perched on the edge of the bed all night and got no sleep at all, while my husband snored in complete oblivion). I think it is just a phase and I'm sure your daughter will grow out of it - and when she does she'll never want to be in bed with you guys again - so - hey make the most of it, it's not forever. If necessary get a 6' bed - I wish I'd done that instead of the three of us cramming into a 4'6" one! Good luck!

[Aunty Lou]

Hi
I am a great believer in something called controlled crying
If it is done properly and with love then it can work a treat but it probably will mean you spending a couple of nights up and awake>
Basically you settle your child to bed read them a story and give them a time limit and stick to it ,ie one more story then mummy is going downstairs or something,
then when she wakes go in and settle her and tell her that it is not morning and mummy wont get up any more maybe as she is four leave an alarm clock or something so she knows when it is getting up time.
then go out and back to bed and when she wakes again leave her for a few minutes before maybe calling to her that its sleep time,next time she wakes leave it longer etc etc and so on until she gets used to you not going in but you must stay calm and loving as she is not being naught y but she has a habit formed that you have to try and break
Good luck

[eyore]

hi i have a four year old daughter,i would let her have a lamp on and a tape recorder that plays stories for bed time let her know you will keep popping up to see her and may be let her have your pillow so she has got your scent,i know people do that for animals but it does work you can but try good luck,

[jacksava]

what i do is let him(4 years old) fall asleep on the sofa and then carry him up to his own bed and then he sleeps through, he is up from 7am and i dont let him sleep during the day. Supernanny would kill me but who cares he is in bed for 9pm and i get a couple of hours to myself with my husband. If she wakes up why not take her back to her own bed and jump in beside her until she falls asleep and then go back to your own bed worked for me.

[anitsirky]

It does sound as though she is missing you, maybe needing the comfort of contact. I would advise you to spend a lot of time with her during the day, whenever you can, and be really involved in her development. Love and routine work well, I find, and good boundaries.

Did she sleep well before? How long has this been going on? Maybe there was an event that triggered this? Does she cry when she wakes? Is she sad or irritable? Do you ask her why (if she is)? Good comunication is the key. I have been given a book called "Child Watching" by Susan Quilliam, and it's about the non-verbal comunication of children. It's very insightful.

Are there any other signs of distress - does she eat well, how does she relate to each of you? Be very aware of her body language when she's interacting with you and others. You may find there is no quick fix, I could take time.

[lou4]

hi we had the same problem with our son untill we had to move back to my parents.
we only had 2 bedrooms so he had to sleep on the floor in our room so we put a single matress on the floor its a bit crowded but hay 4 weeks on and he is still sleeping through the night and in his own bed as well .

[MARCHBABE]

hi, i have the same problem with my 5yr old, my partner and i both work full time, my 5yr old has never sppent a night in his own bed, like you i would pperch on the side of the bed, he throws his arms around, feet end up pillow end and i get kicked in the face, he holds on to my hair, im sure its just the feeling of someone there he likes, anyway i have now put a materess on the floor which he sleeps on, he lies there holding my hand, i know it wont be forever, but i just wish he would not wake at 5 in the morning and decide he is getting up, im a walking zombie somedays.