Who's Unreasonable

[Joannas]

hi all I was at work tonight and My 18 yr old daughters friend knocked down my front wall this eve whilst i was there - a mistake i know, but an annoying one, but I have just come in from work and have been really frustrated by my daughters behaviour. I would have thought that she would understand that I would not be esctatic about the fact that my wall has been knocked down (as it now means I have to deal with geting quotes, contacting insurance etc)and she would probably keep a low profile from me and go to bed, but she stayed up with a friend and has asked if i would give another him a lift home a few miles away. Bearing in mind that i have just down a 9 hour day and walked in at 12.30 and am not very happy about the wall do you think it unreasonable for me to blow my top? i know it wasnt her fault and i wasnt go to have a go at her in any way but the way she just expected me to jump back in my car and give her friend a lift home at this time of night and after a pretty stressful day really got my back up!! She was asking what my problem was and i said to her how does she expect me to be... happy??????What do you think ?

[skyep]

Joannas - That's quite unbelievable! SHE - is the one being unreasonable! After a hard days graft, you should just be allowed to get home & unwind. It's very understanding of you to not blame your daughters friend, you have considered her feelings & know it was an accident. Don't be a doormat for your daughter, politely refuse in future, go with your gut instinct!

[Tiny E. A]

She sounds exactly like my little sister of the same age, no sense of empathy, self absorbed, acts aggresively and thinks the rest of the family is against her whenever they question her selfish behaviour. You're daughter is being unreasonable but she'll never accept that, well, not until she grows up a couple of years.

[Slim Shady]

put ya foot down and tell her who's boss!!

[~max~]

How the heck did they manage to knock down your wall???
Just curious now!
Btw, she IS being unreasonable, and extremely selfish, no doubt about it!

[Joannas]

She was parked on my drive and reversed into it. My drive is on a slope and you have to do a backward hill start to get out of it. She has only just passed her test so is not very experienced. I have got a quote today and it will cost �400 to fix. She told my daughter yesterday that she would pay for it but does not know how much it is yet! She probably does not want to go thro insurance as it will make it even more expensive.

Thank you all for your comments about the unreasonable question. Sometimes you have to question others as to whether you are doing something wrong and the things she was saying to me made me do that.

Thinking about it maybe the guy who she wanted me to give a lift too could have made things a bit better by picking the bricks up off the pavement - he was in the car too!!

[PinkFizz]

I am assuming you mean garden wall and not the wall of your house?? lol

[Joannas]

yes its a garden wall. Now I have had the girls mother on the phone at my daughter shouting abuse at her and saying they are not going to pay it - think I am going to end up in the law section.

If she refuses to pay for it do I contact the police - plus should I tell them about the abuse the mother gave my daughter.

To crown it all last night my daughter went to a night club and got stuck and I had to get out of bed at 3.30am to go and pick her and her friends up cos they couldnt get home!!! She was only 18 last week and its been downhill even more since then!!

[pussnboots]

You poor thingxx

[Alibobs]

Sounds like a teenager Joanna. I'm sure you'll look back in years to come and smile.

I heard a quip on the radio about today's society, something like "We spoil our children and then complain they're spoilt"

I know I'm guilty of this

[Kat213]

I agree with Alibobs, this sounds just like typical teenage behaviour unfortunately. They don't realise that they are being in any way unreasonable and seem to think that we are here to be at their beck and call 24/7!!!

So far as the wall is concerned, I doubt if the police would be interested, its a civil matter

[dilligaf]

Sorry I can't give you too much advice about young girls and their behaviour, although if in your position I believe I and most others would have acted the same.

However, re the brick wall. If she refuses to pay contact the company that insure your home and give them all the details and they will pursue the matter for you. Otherwise it means writing a letter to the girl (who should pass it to her insurance company) saying you hold her responsible for the damage and expect her or her insurance to pay for it.
If that does not get results you will later have to write to her again telling her, unless you receive recompencs you will have no alternative but to issue a summons in the small claims court.
If it comes to that do not be daunted. It's quite a simple process and the people you will deal with are very helpful and friendly.
Let's hope she sees sense and the issue can be settled long before that.

Good luck.

[WendyS]

Your daughter is being completely unreasonable. I think you should make a claim on the girl's car insurance policy. (that is for it is there for). and insist that she provides you with all the policy number and address of the insurance company. If she refuses, say you will give her name and address to the police for leaving the scene of an accident without providing details.
And please stop acting as a taxi service for your daughter as long as she behaves inconsiderately to you.

[Joannas]

Hi everyone
Thanks for all your comments - Im pleased Im not the only one to think that way about teenage daughters!!

Re the wall i have now informed the police and they did seem interested. i have also reported the mother as she has been on the phone to my daughter verbally abusing us both and the girl said she would sort it privately but is now saying she will only pay for some and not all of it so I think this is the best route to go.

Amazing there is hardly any damage to her car but she hit it full on and the wall just crumbled but she is saying we have made it worse.

thanks for your support guys.