I am looking for my Dad...

[Piglet1984]

I have tried just about every site I can think of in an attempt to find my Dad.
I'm a 22 year old female and have not seen him for about twelve years...I hear he moved to New Zealand (not sure if this is true...) and I've looked through the New Zealand White Pages but to no avail.
I'm desperate now and have no idea where to turn next-Please help.
Thank you.

[Mammar]

I'm going right off the wall here Piglet because you seem to have done the usual things.
First, I know the Salvation Army used to have a brilliant "find a relative" service in this country. Do they still operate it and do they know if there is something similar over there?
Secondly, I have also heard that if an individual is still claiming a pension or benefits or some other payment from the Government, the department concerned will forward a letter to that person on your behalf but they will not tell you where they are. It is up to the individual receiving your letter to choose whether to reply or not. I really don't know whether there is something similar over there? Perhaps the Dept. of Work and Pensions can tell you more.
Do hope one of these might work for you but, as I say, I'm grasping at straws on your behalf.
All the best and let us know if you succeed!

[Piglet1984]

Thanks so much for getting back to me Mammar, much appreciated.

I'll try the Salvation Army and see where I get with that...Fingers crossed.

I'll keep you posted.xxx

[crete]

piglet i wish you well in your search, good luck

[beerbelly]

Good Luck , Piglet .

[Piglet1984]

Thanks crete and beerbelly, fingers crossed eh...:-)

[HappyBear]

Have you tried www.genesreunited.co.uk?

[Piglet1984]

Thanks HappyBear. :-)
Ok, I've tried about 20 sites. GenesReunited was one of them and they have loads of matches but you cannot proceed in depth without debit/ credit card details and my partner keeps my cards...Plus he would not be impressed if I told him I was giving out bank details over the internet...Just tried the Salvation Army and have been told that 'if' he has moved to NZ, there will not be any records available at all.
I now have about 8 more sites to try over the next few days...
This is sooo difficult, I'm getting frustrated now! :-(

[chitchat]

It might be easier to find him in New Zealand coz there are only 4 mil people instead of the 60 mil in the UK.

Not sure how to go about it though.

[Piglet1984]

Thank You ChitChat,
Well I'm staying positive and not trying to get too down but I know it would be easier to find him in New Zealand if I was actually there...I'm not even 100 percent sure that he is out there!
I sat down and had a long chat with my partner last night and he says that as long as I'm prepared for the fact that there is only a 50/50 chance of me ever seeing him again, I should be fine. :-)

[Bev2007]

I was talking to someone who found his birth father through friends reunited

[Piglet1984]

I'm signed up to Friends Reunited and wouldn't have a clue where to start...Could give it a try I suppose. :-)

[pingping]

not sure if this is an obvious suggestion (not knowing your personal circumstances) but are there any members of your family or old family friends who may have got contact details for him, and who may be willing to pass a letter on if not give you the address directly?

good luck though. x

[Piglet1984]

I asked my Mum and she knew/ knows his address but saw it as a threat with me asking.
I've been asking for about eight years now and I know for a fact that about four years ago, we were walking through town and my Dad walked past - She didn't tell me till three days later!!!
The thing is, I'm not getting on too well with my Mum, haven't been for over three years now and I know that my family will not help me...I have tried.
She phoned me about four months ago to say there was no worries about bumping into my Dad in the near future as he has moved to New Zealand! Thats all I know and I can't be sure that she is telling the truth.
Thanks sooo much for the suggestion though. xxx

[pingping]

sorry to hear that piglet. can't your mum appreciate that you are a grown woman who has every right to communicate with your father regardless of the status of her relationship with him?

what about your paternal grandparents - any way they can be persuaded to help you?

[Piglet1984]

Aah, thanks...
My Mum doesn't understand, she is very set in her ways.
I only know my grandparents on my Mum's side, I'm very close with them but they will not help in fear it will upset my Mum.
It's very frustrating, my main worry is that I'll never see him again - all I want is to buy him a coffee and give him a hug. xxx

[janetsflower]

Sounds like your Mum might be trying to throw you off the scent for whatever reason. I found my birth fatherr thru friends reunited. How much do you know about your dad? I would try tracing his family tree thru local records office, start with his date of birth and then track his parents and see if he has siblings then try to trace them, also try friends reunited, see if you can find out what schools he went to if you know the area he grew up nd then send some speculative emails to people on the site that are same age at same school, you never know someone might still be in touch with him or know more about his family that might help you. Good luck with your quest - it took me a long time to find my dad - from age 18 to 37 but i did it eventually and i and he were so pleased to be reunited, i hope you find him

[Piglet1984]

Thanks JF.
Congratulations on finding your birth father, I hope everything is working out as you hoped. How was it meeting up with him properly for the first time? Was he excited to see you?

My Mum is very much against me seeing him, she would rather I accepted my step dad as the only �dad� that I need. She doesn�t realise that I�m NOT doing it because I don�t care about my step dad because I do love him very much, it�s because I want to know where I come from, meet my step-siblings, find the other half of me�If that makes sense.
I tried Friends Reunited but there were quite a few results and the ones that looked promising have not viewed their accounts for around 4 years�I could give it a go.
I�m unsure of his date of birth but am pretty sure I have the age correct so that should count for something.

I do want to say a huuuge thank you to everyone that has replied, I really appreciate it. If anyone has any information or suggestions, please either post on the site or email me at [email protected].

You�re all fantastic. :-)

[Rosie2]

I feel for you babe. I know you said you aren't getting on with your mum but have you told her that you love her very much and nothing will change that . It maybe she is feeling threatened, that she might lose you and needs reassuring. If you talk to her and make her understand how you feel she may change her mind.
Good Luck and let us know when you find your dad.

[Piglet1984]

Hey Gravitate, it is so difficult � I�m currently in touch with someone who only charges if she is able to locate the person you�re looking for. Fingers crossed. I found her by accident on a missing relative�s site, whether or not she is any good at what she does, I�m still to find out � but here�s hoping.

I tried Friends Reunited but there is only a limited amount of action you can take without paying. To be honest, there was about three possible ex school-friends of his on the site, without bank details, you cannot even email them or leave a message.

Do you know where abouts your daughter is? How old will she be now?
I�d advise you to consider this lady, her name is Candi Kaya�Not sure which site I found the name on as all contact is via my email address now. Give it a go if possible.

I wish you the best of luck in finding your daughter, sounds like she would be so lucky to have a parent like you in her life.

Take care and keep your chin up, we�ll both get there eventually. :-)