I miss my son

[west ham fan]

I have not seen my 2 young grandsons since Easter they live just 3 mins drive away from my home. my son is not aloud to bring them to my home, his partner says we (my husband and I can go round there to see them, the problem with that is she does not like us, she is jealous of the relation ship our son has with us, and she completely ignores us. when she has visited our home in the past we have made her as welcome as we welcome our son. Plus now we have not seen our son for 6 weeks its as if she is turning him against us. She has no parents of her own so we are the only grandparents those 2 little boys have. It is realy depressing as my husband has recently finished chemo treatement for bowel cancer and I feel my son is being very selfish and should stand up to her. Please has anyone got some advise, it would help.

[B00]

Aww you poor thing, really feel for you.

Why haven't you seen your grandsons for 6 weeks? Has your daughter in law said you couldn't visit? If she hasn't, i'm afraid i'd put up with her childish silence. Can you take them out? To the park maybe?

I'd also talk to your son and tell him how this is making you feel, it can't be easy for him either being piggy in the middle like this.

Lastly, i'd like to pass on my best wishes to your husband, I hope his recovery is swift.

Take care :-)

[I.Don No]

my reply is the same as BOOs.

take care and I hope the situation is soon reseolved.

XXX

[freak_unique]

You poor thing :(
It reminds me of what an ex of mine used to do, because he was in foster care and his real parents barely wanted to know him, he tried to turn me against mine saying they didnt care about me; saying they were using me to babysit my brother; using me for my board money i was paying, and at first it started to cross my mind. Then i realised and after everything else he did to me i gave him the boot. Im hoping your son will do the same one day, probably after an argument with her he will want someone to turn to, and will realise what he has done and will come running back. Welcome him back with open arms but make sure he knows how much he has hurt and upset you.

[Le Chat]

Your post says that your son's partner will allow you to go to their house to see your grandchildren , so go! Don't let the fact that she doesn't like you stop you going round there. You may not have seen your son for 6 weeks because she is saying something to him like "...Your parents obviously aren't bothered about your kids as they haven't even been round here to see them, even though I've told them that they can come anytime...."
Your son is being hartless, selfish and cruel not visiting his father at his time of illness. I would imagine this must be hartbreaking on top of the other situation.
Your d-i-l sounds awful and should be delighted to have two extra,loving family members and helpers in the bringing up of her children. I cherish the time my son's are with their grandparents.

[fourthwave]

Feel really bad for you. But look at it from your son's side. Poor fellow torn between his parents and partner. I think you should visit them. and slowly get around telling them how much you love and care for them.

Good luck!

[west ham fan]

Thankyou all for kind remarks, We are unable to go round to their home and bypass her unpleasentness because people who are receiving chemo have got to be carefull not to catch infections as their immune system is low.My son is aware of our feelings and how he is hurting us, I shall wait until she throws him out again and he comes back home and then the 2 boys spend weekends here as they have done time and time again, but then that's when it suits her.
Our daughter came over from Australia in December to help with the care and she was so upset to see how her brother treats us, back and forth like he does. We have also got a son in Oz he also emmigrated 10 yrs ago he has got 4 children, 3 girls and the boy, eldest granddaughter is 17- the next is 8 and the youngest 4 the boy is 10, he will not even talk about his brother, although he feels guilty in not being here for us.
I have got a 7 yr old Boxer, she is my life saver I talk to her when I am going on our walks.
thankyou all again