aggressive teen

[lorraine29]

I'm at the end of my tether, my 15 yr old son has anger issues, which I have been trying to get help with for months. He has run away from home involving the police and social services, he is constantly being excluded from school for lashing out at other kids.
Just been up to the school to talk about the situation and as soon as i tried to talk directly to him (non aggressively) he stormed out of the school. I stayed to talk to the mentor and the only help i was offered was counselling for myself all the way home he was shouting abuse about the mentor and acting really aggressively including getting right in the face of some poor innocent guy walking the other way.
He has now shut himself in his room and has told me he wishes he was dead. I am just at a total loss at what to do.
Any ideas would be really welcome

[eyeshade]

Sadly one day he is going to shout at someone who will not put up with it and these sorts of things are happening all the time. ~What does your husband or his dad say?

[tiny e.a]

It sounds like he needs counselling quite urgently, although I realise that's easier said then done with regards to a hostile 15 year old. Do you think you would beable to persuade him to go to his GP with you? I expect they would beable to offer the best advice. Write a list of all the points you want to raise and any questions you might have before you go, that way you can be sure you're not ushered out before you remember all the questions you had. Make sute you mention the aggresion and confrontational problems aswell as also mentioning he has experessed a wish to be dead at times.

[Le Chat]

This behaviour wont have suddenly happened. It would have been brewing for years and years. Whether it was a particular set of events that led to it - only you would know. You need to be in a room with him, where there is no escape when the going gets tough. There is obviously something tormenting him mentally and you need to know what it is - he may not even know, he may just feel the anger. You need to talk, talk, talk ...about nothing and about everything and something may give. Some light may switch on. I am only giving this as an idea which would be secondary to seeking professional help.
If he is like this at 15, his future as a productive, responsible and contributing adult does not look rosy.

[lorraine29]

un fortunately his dad left us about 10 years ago, he is the eldest of three. He always has been a pleasant lad with his head screwed on, and before the barrage of abuse about me being a single parent, I have often been complimented on how well i have done on my own, my children are polite and sensible kids and it has only been in the last year or so that the cracks have started to show.

[lorraine29]

yesterday I managed to get him in to the NSPCC counselling session and they have recommended him for an anger management course within the next 4 weeks so hopefully that should be able to help.

Lorraine x

[Le Chat]

That is good news. I have heard that anger management courses are extremely effective in a surprisingly short time. Good luck. I hope the pathways to communication will flow as a result.

[DONNA1458]

All you can do is be there for him but don't let him disrespect you make a stand as soon as he does, tell him you love him often and praise him when he does something good, and give him attention in different ways go on a day out together don't ask him where you plan it and tell him thats what your doing as otherwise he will refuse if not pushed it will bring you closer.