Will I ever get over this?

[Kleiber]

It's two years tomorrow since my lovely husband died (he was only 47). Some days, I'm fine - normal, happy self - but others, I'm so down in the depths of despair. I don't really know how to explain, but I still feel as if a great chunk has been taken out of me - I miss him so much. Before he died, he told me I was strong and would be OK and most of the time I am, our son and I carry on with life as normal, but every now and again, it hits me. Part of me just can't believe he's gone. We had such a great time together and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone who could hold a candle to him. Has anyone else been through this? How have you coped? How long does it take to come to terms with the loss of someone who meant so much to you? I feel he's still with us but I look for him and he's not there.
I'm sorry to pour my heart out like this and I know a lot of you are going through bad times at the moment, but I need some support right now. Tomorrow, I'll go to our favourite place, up on the mountain and I'll talk to him and then I'll go and put some roses on his grave. And then I'll come home to an empty house. I just feel so damn lost.

[B00]

Kleiber- im really crap at expressing my feelings via here, but I just wanted to say that you're post really touched me. Not known you long on here but you seem a really nice lady.

IF.....you do find yourself on your own tomorow, you know where we are :-)

xxxx

[Lacey-G]

Kleiber, my heart goes out to you. You have lost your soulmate you will probably never come to terms with it. But it WILL get easier as time passes. I know it doesn't feel like that at the moment but it will.

I will say a prayer before I go to sleep Kleiber xx

Thinking of you and your son xxxxxxxxx

[Kleiber]

'morning, everyone. I'm just having a cuppa & thought I'd log in to see how you all are today and I re-read all your lovely replies to me from last night. I wish I'd had you lot to "talk" to, 2 years ago - it's so good to know there are people who care. I'm not too bad today and I guess I'll get through ok, albeit with a few tears. I loved him so much and we were so happy together - we planned to grow old with each other but that wasn't to be. Still, life goes on and he wouldn't want to see me sad. I've taken great comfort from Sheila Hancock's book, "The Two of Us" - here's an extract from a poem in there - it always helps me when I read it and I hope it can give some strength to anyone else who's in the same situation :
"Be still,
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone, but merely walk within you."

Thanks again, everyone - you're lovely, caring folk! K xx

[yinyang]

Hi Kleiber. Just logged in and although I can't say anything that other's havent already, I just wanted to add my offer of support and let you know I will be thinking of you today.
I can't imagine what losing your soulmate must be like - the thought terrifies me to be honest:but you must be a very strong person to get this far and that strength will continue.
I hope you get some peace and comfort from going to the mountain today and that you are able to remember all the joy and happiness that you and your husband shared together. As others have said, there is always someone on here who will be there for you, Take care. x

[B00]

Just checking in to see if you'd left a message Kleiber, and you had.

Hope today passes as well as can be expected (corrr, I told you I was crap at this!)And yes, we're still here.

Thinking of you
xxxx

[Pippa68]

I cannot add anything else to the lovely replies left for you, Kleiber. Like BOO I am totally rubbish at this sort of thing!

I just wanted to add that I reckon you are stronger than you think ~ I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through..losing your lfe partner, the pain must be incredible.

Thinking of you today x

[cruella]

Hi Kleiber,
Just this minute read your post about you Husband.
Oh, Anniversaries are really heartbreaking, as is every day you have to get through withoutyour soulmate.
I really feel foryou and managed to find a way for us to email if you would like. I would anyway.
Go to your search engine and type in dundeelocalpages . That is my Husband's website and click onto contact us.
You can leave your email address there and I will contact you. I do not want to put my email address on here and I know you would not want to either.
Hope to hear rom you soo.
LOve xxx

[Kleiber]

Hiya, cruella - I hope I got the right address! I've sent you an e-mail. K xx

[B00]

How's your day been Kleiber? Do you have anything planned for tonight?

[cruella]

Got the email and answered it.
Love x

[Kleiber]

Hiya, BOO & cruella!! No, I've got nothing planned - K Jnr has gone out to play pool (it's the start of the local championship season) and I've made a pizza. He's had his, so I'm going to do mine later & just chill out. I didn't have too bad a day, in the end - I was just very unhappy last night. It's been a beautiful day here, weather-wise (just like it was 2 yrs ago) and I took the dogs out for a long walk, then came back & started on the pizzas. I've got loads to do around the house, but had a bit of a self-indulgent day. (Took some flowers "down the road", too, of course!)
Cruella - I'll be answering shortly!! Cheers,

K xx

[puddicat]

hi kleiber puddie here, how ya doing? sorry cruella glenrothes kingdom centre is s......e, love dundae though!

[WendyS]

Grief is such difficult emotion to grapple with. It creeps up on you unexpectedly just as you think you are beginning to cope, and ambushes you from behind. But grief is the price we all have to pay for love and you must ask yourself whether you would have wanted to live without that love, all that it has meant to you and all that it gave you. Don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself the quiet moments you need in the places which offer solace and healing and be assured that you were very much loved. That can never be taken away. Use that thought to find the courage to face just one more day at a time. Your anniversary will be difficult, but every day will take you just a few more steps along the healing road. We never forget those we love, but slowly the pain does ease.

[B00]

Aww bless ya Kleiber- been thinking about you on and off all day.

If you want another ear to bend anytime my email address is [email protected]

PS

If you feel like mailing me some of that pizza, I won't say no!

[sanden]

Kleiber
Birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries are such tough times. I have found that grief is so painful - I never realised but it really can be a physical pain. I find it hard when people say 'move on', cos I dont think you can actually do that to order. Things happen when you are ready. Grief takes a long time to fade, but gradually with time things get easier, even though it comes back and smacks you in the face when you least expect it! I really feel that only time can heal. Best wishes to you and your son. xx

[~gagica~]

Kleiber: i just read your post. Sweetie i am so sorry for your loss!!!! i lost my 1st love too. we were best friends first.. were together only 2yrs before he passed. that was 11yrs ago . we were both teenagers; first loves lol so passionate so new...
he has never left me. there is not one day that doesn't go by that i don't think of him @ least once. i cry for him to this day. always wondering what could have been.
but sweetie you know closure never happens, but it does get easier.
i've gotten to the point where i laugh @ the funny memories; not cry. that was a big step for me.
he will ALWAYS be in your heart, and your sons heart. he will ALWAYS be in your lives.
do speak w him as much as you need to. do whatever feels right for you. everyone told me to move on...its time...but noone knows that but you. move @ your own pace and time. you know whats right for you and your son.
you will be in my thoughts. anytime you need to talk, vent, etc...i'm here (email : [email protected])

[Redbel]

Hiya Kleiber... I can't add much to all the beautiful replies on here. I know it's not much, but if you ever need a friend or a friendly ear we are all here for you.
Love Bez xxxx

[Tichman]

Kleiber, I can only echo the sentiments of everyone here. This verse brought me solace.

Those we love,dont go away
They stand beside us everyday
Unseen by others they walk by our side
We love them too much for death to divide. My best wishes to you and your son. xx

[MYSTERYT]

Hi Kleiber
Firstly may i say its GOOD TO TALK
Also you will never get over the death of a loved one ,but you learn to live with your loss as days and years go on ,
There is a web site called GONETOSOON, you should have a look it is really touching but in a nice kind of way , i have a very dear friend who lost her husband just over a year ago he was only 49 when he passed away , she herself has put a page on GONETOSOON and this has helped her and all of their family, it is very hard when you lose someone dear to you ,but like they say time is a great healer, you always need to remember the good times never the bad, and why shouldn't you go to your favorite spot ,and have a chat if this is how you feel that you are close to him ,and he will always be with you and your son no matter where you are .
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SON xx