no party

[lightoftruth]

recently my mum has decided that she suddenly become completly against the idea of under-age drinking and is refusing to let me have any alcohol at my party. Im 17 and at all my previous parties their has always been a good supply of alcohol but no-one has ever passed out.

Granted a few of us have got a little "merry" but it never got out of hand.

The thing that really annoys me is that i am COMPLETLY AGAINST religion of any form but i still go to church with mum cause i know it means something to her. I find it so selfish of her that she wont back down on her views like i for her.

Whats a person to do??

i have pointed all this out to her but she fobs be off saying its "completly different" when it really isnt

[daffy654]

If it is your mum's house then you have to abide by her rules whether you like it or not. When you are living away from home you can do what you like but until then you have to put up with it. I would not want a bunch of drunk or tipsy teens in my house so I can see where she is coming from,i'm in no way a prude and amongst my daughters friends I am considered pretty easy going compared to their own parents.If you want alcohol at your party why not see if one of your friends families will have the party at their house.

[redcrx]

shes the mum! when youre a parent perhaps youll understand why shes doing it.

Having alcohol at previous parties when you were underage was a privilege, you cant expect that all the time. Just be grateful you ever had it.

Plus, how would other parents feel knowing that your mum was giving their children alcohol?

[VillageVicar]

Whether she did it in the past or not, your mother�s permitting.contributing/and condoning the distribution and consumption of alcohol among minors could have some extremely frightening consequences. It may be that your mother was not aware of this previously, but has recently been enlightened by a friend or an article she saw in the news or on telly.

First, she is committing a crime. She could, in fact, be arrested for this, especially if the parent of one of your friends chose to make an issue of it. In a worst case scenario, should one of your friends have a reaction to the alcohol or succumb to alcohol poisoning, your mother could be charged with contributing to the death of a minor.

Additionally, should there be an accident in the home, especially as a result of alcohol being consumed by one of your friends, her insurance company has every right to refuse to pay for any claims arising as a result.

continued

[VillageVicar]

Part 2

I�m not being an old stick in the mud over this, I promise. I have two children � one your age, the other 15. They have never asked me whether they could have alcohol at a party at home. They just wouldn�t need to. But then, I would never imagine them asking me because they are responsible enough to know that there are consequences when we do things outside of the law. That�s not to suggest they�re boring sticks in the mud�far from it. My daughter was voted �most popular� at school last year and my son just received an award for his community service.

As for church: I respect your preference not to attend. And I think it�s very kind of you to continue to go with your mother. You may not see any benefit in it at all right now. But perhaps, when your step is a little slower, and your hair is a bit grey, you may find that sense of community your mother now enjoys to be a benefit to you.

I admire you for being so honest and straightforward in what you�ve shared with us on AB. It clearly shows you have a good head on your shoulders!

I wish you a very happy Birthday!

Fr Bill


p.s. it was my son's birthday yesterday. 18 kids..lots of music...and lots of fun...not a bit of booze or smoke about.
:-)

[aims1202]

I am a mum but mine is very young still.
But I actually think its ok to let 17 yr olds have some alcohol at a party in your home. It is probably better than them drinking on the street.
You have proven to be sensible in the past so i dont see the harm.
My mum let me have it when i was this age, even a bit younger and she always welcomed my friends into the house even when they had alcohol on them. She knew we were going to drink it anyway and was happier that she knew where we were. My friends who parents didnt let them have alcohol did it anyway but just lied to them, which is worse.
I dont think you'll change your mums mind though and it is up to her if you have it there as its her house.

[WendyS]

I think you've probably answered your own question by admitting that in the past you have had alcohol at your parties and people have got a "little merry". Your mother had undoubtedly read in the press of parties which have got completely out of hand and whilst you may feel grown up, you are still a minor. You may be sensible with alcohol but you can't guarantee that one or more of your friends won't be able to control their alcohol input. and I guess your mother just doesn't want the risk of people becoming drunk or vomiting all over the place. To be honest, if it were my house, I would permit alcohol for under 18's either. Sadly too many of your generation have shown the dark side of binge drinking and lack of control and possibly your mother is being prejudiced by this but it is her house so I guess she's entitled to make the rules. Hard though it seems, she's not deliberately trying to spoil your fun, but she will be the person responsible if it all gets out of hand.