infidelity

[Baby02]

Been with my partner for 17 years....a year ago I found out that he had ,had another g/f for the 1st 18 months of our relationship. I was devastated!...so many emotions, tears,anger, hate, and also the fact that I was stupid enough not to realise what was going on...when i think back it was obvious what was going on but at the time I knew something wasnt right but couldnt make sense of it all. Anyway after much soul searching I decided to stay with him, but it still hurts everyday to think that he did that to me. Would you have ended your relationship or given it another chance?

[Ice-Maiden]

For goodness' sake - it was years ago, and you've managed to hold onto your partner for much longer than he was with the other woman for. We're often the last people to see that our partners are cheating, and had you found out earlier, I would've said get rid of him - but since you've had many (assumingly) good times together since, I think you should drop the subject now, and concentrate on the life you've made together.

[jodie73]

Your gonna find it difficult as it's fairly new to you. You've probably got all these things going through your head like, did he love her? what did they do together? what is she like? All these questions that only he can answer but probably won't. Men don't like their little secrets dragged up constantly or ever for that matter because it's a huge embarrassment! Your best bet would be to try and get over it or you'll be beating yourself up forever. It's gonna be hard and won't happen overnight. I've been through a similar thing and stayed with my husband. Things are fine now, it happened 2 years ago.x

[meltoadhall]

after 15 years together isnt it a bit late for recriminations?
just enjoy your life together after all its you he stayed with isnt it

[flolo]

17years ago he was probably like most men a bit immature. I am guessing you were quite young when you got together.He probably thought he could have his cake and eat it to.BUT HE CHOSE YOU.if you have had no concerns in the past 17years let it go.I know you are hurting now and it will probably take a long time to get over the deceit. but you have had a lot of good years since dont throw them away Good luck x

[caz247]

the fact that you are still with him a YEAR after you
found out answers itself

get over it and put it in the past, sorry if this sounds
harsh but life is no dress rehearsal

[bumble]

Can i ask a question, how do you mean it was obvious it was going on, what signs were there?

Ta

[jedimistress]

I would strongly recommend joining this site www.survivinginfidelity.com

The people have all been where you have been and will be a better source of inspiration, stories and experiences than some on here.