wrong or right?

[AutomaticGal]

is it morally wrong to hate your mother, even if you have numerous very very valid reasons to do so, just because she gave birth to you?

[andy-hughes]

I think morals are entirely a personal choice.

There is a strong sociological argument that your parents dserve your love and respect, but it's not a theory i subscribe to.

I have my childrens' love and respect, because i have worked very hard at my relationships with them I don't expect these emotions by right - children are individuals, you form bonds or you don't.

My mother tells me she loves me, but never demonstrates it in a way I understand, and never has, as long as I have been aware of what love is.

I appreciate your perspective, and your discomfort at your situation, but you must work with your feelings, and your choices, and not be swayed by the views of the wider population.

[AutomaticGal]

i just needed a rough idea to see if im not the only one.

ive heard of children disliking their fathers back in the day due to them being very harsh. lets just say for the past 7 years i have never felt the smallest ounce of happiness. and im seriously not over exaggerating. all thanx to a woman i have to call mother.

[Lil O'lady]

It might be wrong to physically harm her or to emotionally abuse her, but you should not feel guilt at being given a hard time by another adult just cos she is your mother. Sadly some parents believe their 'status' as parents permits them to behave very badly.

[bensmum]

No I don't think it's wrong at all. There's a lot of truth in the saying that you can't choose your relatives.
I think that respect is not a given right but has to be earned even by your parents and if you have valid reasons not to feel love or respect then that is your right.

[AutomaticGal]

very true.

[daffy654]

I hate my mother with a passion,I have very good reasons for doing so. I have had people throw abuse at me for saying this and was once beaten up by a bloke(i'm female) for voicing this opinion of my so called mum.

[sazzle17]

not at all.
but hate is a very strong word.
but i suppose used in this context it's acceptable.
you can only hate someone you have once loved.
i can honestly say that i have said on many a time that i hate my dad, mainly because sometimes, he is horrible. but i also know that, we dont get along with some people because we are too alike. this might be the case with you and your mum. it certainly is with me and my dad.

hope this helps.
sara xx

[sense4all]

People are people - all different. An absolute plonker is not going to be a model citizen just because they have mastered procreation. I think you are well within your rights to dislike your parents if appropriate.

[China Doll]

You can't hate something you never had a strong feeling towards in the first place. But no, it's not wrong.

[PastaManiac]

Love is earned-it is not an automatiic right.....the fact that a person is your mother(or father) by birthdoes not entitle them to your love...love or hate is an emotion in response to care/abuse,teaching/ignoring,protecting/hurting. If,for whatever reason ,your mother has hurt,ignored you over the years...you should not feel guilty for how you feel about her....i know we should be able to forgive others for how they may treat us...but that is not always possible.

[AutomaticGal]

thanx for the advice. its helped.... but I still don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to handle the way I feel. I've never hurt her, never, what I mean is I need to suppress this feeling or one say I might explode.

[milly143]

I'm in a simila position to you. I wouldn't say I hate my mum but I very strongly dislike her following things she has done over the years. It was my decision 6 years ago to cut all ties because the upset became too much. I haven't seen or spoken to her since and she has made no effort to contact me. Now I'm not saying you should do the same but you should think about what will make you happy and try not to please others all the time at the expense of your own happyness.