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Dont want to offend!

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tamirra | 16:49 Sat 31st May 2008 | Family & Relationships
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Hi, my daughter has a boyfriend who is 19 but not to sound to nasty he is not up to my standards of cleanliness and he wants to cook us a meal, im not saying he is dirty in anyway, its just that he has horrible teeth, short bitten finger nails and im a little bit more fussy as to who makes my meals, we have been invited next weekend for the meal, and i really dont think i could go, how can i put it over to them that i would rather not go without offending either of them, i know its a lovely gesture and i would have loved to take them up on it, but i just cant. Any advice on how to say no thankyou nicely. Thanks.
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It cannot be done.
You're just going to have to go and make the best of it.
Whatever excuse you make, they're going to know that you don't want to go. They won't know why you don't want to go and will make assumptions as to your reasons....don't like him, want to split them up , etc etc. Nothing good will come of it.
It's your choice. Go , eat food you are not happy with and keep good relationships with your daughter and her boyfriend, or don't go, save your stomach and offend them
Sorry.
Cannot see anyway round this.
horrible teeth and bitten fingernails dont automatically make a person unhygienic or a bad cook. If you go, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Well if his fingernails are bitten short, there's less chance of any nasties being under them! x
take a take away ....tell him so he dont need to cook
Good job you can't see who's in the kitchens at the restaurants.

Be brave and have the meal.
Question Author
Awww shall i, my husband thinks we should too, but he would eat anything anyway! its not just that his nails were short they just looked grubby and he was really eating them away when he came here today, it turns my stomach to think he might have gone to the toilet and not scrubbed his hands after, not saying that he dosn`t, but im not to know if he has, god what a situation im in!!
Blimey...your daughter's 19 year old boyfriend has invited you over for a meal??? I think you should consider yourself lucky that your girl has found herself a considerate bf, instead of trying to belittle him for his appearance.
Would you rather he didn't ask, and instead took her to some grubby party with cheap alcohol and drugs? I think you're being very snobbish, sorry!
Frankly, if the state of his nails and teeth are the only thing you worry about, I don't think you have a problem!!!
lol "what a situation"
for goodness sake you are talking about 1 meal 1 time, just suck it up and go.
There is absolutulely no way of not going. If you make an excuse this time, there will always be a next time they invite you.
In fact, thinking about it, if its a long term relationship, are you going to put it off for the rest of your life?
Try very hard not to be so pompous and stuck up and go for the meal for the sake of your daughter.

Has he got to be prince william?
If hes with your daughter i suggets you be a suppportive parent rather than a stuck up twit.

give the guy a chance eh?
maybe biting his nails is a nervous habit - i'd think it would be quite intimidating meeting with the girlfriend parents, and this would explain why he bit them the whole time.

do you associate biting nails with being unhygenic???
like the others have said, have the meal, just for the sake of not causing a massive row!!
Parental advice from Legend???

That is like taking advice on PR from Gerald Ratner.

Fat pr!ck.

cazz did u get my email?
You might be reassured to know there is far less germs and bacteria with very short nails than longer ones - no matter how clean they appear.

I always thing Anthony Worrall wotsit looks grubby, but he hasn't poisoned anybody yet, as far as I know.
I don't want to lower the tone, but does it bother you that he kisses your daughter? x
yes leg, have replied
ta
Oooooh was I mentioned???

I hope so, as I have such a big ego.
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Bathsheba, to your question, yes it does bother me that he kisses my daughter with teeth like that, im sorry i cant help the way i am, but i am no way a snob, far from it i hasten to add. Think i might be going for a meal at my daughters next weekend. x
btw, as a former (extreme) nailbiter, i can confirm that it is a nervous habit. perhaps he was chewing his nails for all he was worth as he was really nervous being around you and wanting to make a good impression. most blokes that age i know wouldn't even think about inviting people to dinner - if you ask me, he sounds like a (nervous!) sensitive, caring guy who respects your daughter enough to invite the olds round for dinner. you should be happy, not judgemental!

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