adoption

[yobanfa]

how can anyone give up a child for adoption ? i was given up by my birth mother at 6 days yet a year and a day later she gives birth to my sister and keeps her, is life a bitch or what!!

[ChocolatChip]

How old are you yobanfa? You sound very young, or reasonably niave.
How do you know that her circumstance were perfect when she had you? She might have had a husband as a wife beater and thought that it would be safer for you to be in care. Maybe she didn't have any money. Maybe her partner or your father made her give you up.
There are so many reasons that you logically or rationally haven't thought of.

[spudqueen]

As ChocolatChip says, your mothers circumstances may well have changed in that year, or it could be that she so regretted giving you up for adoption that she was determined to keep her next child.

[Drisgirl]

Hey - a bit of sensitivety here.

I would feel the same way BUT the only person who can answer is your Mum -dont do a Jeremy Kyle stlye thing but I agree -circumstances were at the forefront but if I were you I would wonder why i wanst the chosen one -and crucially why didnt ny of your family look after you?

Good Luck hun and have a happy life xxx.

[Goodsoulette]

It's also very common for women to have a baby very soon after having a termination or giving a child up for adoption, subconciously filling the void I suppose.

[Drisgirl]

IAP -what a constructive and personal response -i hope she gets some comfort from that -it wouldnty have appeared to have affected you hun -or did it??

[lindapinda]

I've worked in the area of adoption tracing,and,have seen first hand that there are many reasons and heartbreaking stories for everyone involved in each adoption. No one is ever to blame.

[figure]

I share your sentiments, noknowledge. I cannot imagine...

[pinktwink]

i also work with children in casre nd who are adopted. the circumstances for parents who give children up for adoption are usually very tragic and no an easy decision for any person. it is something they live with for the rest of their lives. unfortunatly society is very quick to judge other people

[Drisgirl]

Not been in that position then!!

I always say -walk a mile in my shoes then judge -good ethos !

[lindapinda]

Pink and Dris..great posts xx..i used to have that on my wall btw.."walk a mile in my shoes"

[aims1202]

As hard as it may be i believe the only way you can be happy and have peace is if you can find it within yourself to forgive your birth mother for giving you up. it may be that you need to find her to get some answers. I would imagine it is likely that she did it because she loved you so much and is waiting for the day you come and find her, good luck x

[yobanfa]

thank you all, for all your repiles, to update you all, i have traced my birth family and have met them all a few years ago now, i now have ended a chapter in my life that has been open for so long, im glad my birth mother did give me up but i will never forgive her for doing it, i know no history about my birth family which is a pain when you go to the docters and they ask "does so and so run in your family?" and i have so say i know nothing about my familys medical history. i just wanted to know how other people have got on with their lives after they had been given up.

[cove]

yobanfa - you sound like a spoiled, angry brat. you should be grateful your mother did not abort you. at least she did not left you on someone's doorstep or in the rubbish, and she give you to someone who took care of you.