Bereavement - what to do?

[10ClarionSt]

My brother-in-law died last October. He'd been married twice. 2 sons from his first marriage, 1 son from his 2nd.
A few days after the service, the youngest son collected the ashes, but didn't make any payments. 10 months later, I've got the undertakers phoning ME about HIS bill. If it was my decision, I'd leave it to run it's course, but the rest of the family want to dispose of the ashes according to the deceaseds' wishes. And we don't know if that has happened. Some of them want to pay the bill and have it done with, but will they get the ashes? The youngest son is called Andrew Cooper, of Woodvale Court, Hollins, Middleton, Manchester. I think he's besmirching his fathers' name in behaving like this.

[Ethel]

I am appalled that you name and shame like this, especially in such a private family matter.

Pay the bill.

[kjc]

I don't think they would have had the ashes until the bill was settled. why not pay up, get the ashes and give him the sendoff that he wanted? why leave it this long?

[daffy654]

Are there laws concerning naming someone and putting their address on the internet without their permission or knowledge?

[Ethel]

kjc, undertakers don't hold the ashes as ransom.

:)

[Ethel]

He'll know on Tuesday by the latest

[mightylegend]

Daffy i dont think so as 4gs has done it here with my name on a number of ocassions and tried posting my place of work .
All the ed on here could do was ban his username .

D T H ?

[cazzz1975]

Have you asked him to pay it? or at least sent him the bill? or at least told the undertakers to bill the next of kin?

[kjc]

agreed it shouldn't be your responsibility then. It's up to the undertaker to chase up the overdue payment then. maybe you was next on his list?

[Ethel]

You could have stated your case without putting his full name and address on a public forum.

That is outrageous behaviour - it's not as if he's scamming the nation or the public at large.

Don't pay the bill then. It's a family matter for you and the family to sort out, but that bill needs paying.

[kjc]

how has he had help from the state? they should have paid the F D direct, not give him the money to do it.

[Ethel]

It is not irrelevant to me - I am a user of this public forum and you are in breach:

8. You agree not to disclose any personal information (e.g. full name, address, phone number) either about yourself or any other individual(s) when making any posting or contribution to The AnswerBank.

[sara3]

all things considered, I think it's a nice gesture that you've now agreed to pay the bill. good on you :o)

[kjc]

sara3. I think it was sarcasm when he said he would pay the bill. why should he, he is not a blood relative, nor next of kin.

[sara3]

kjc.. sarcasm? really??

[kjc]

yes, he had a ? and a ! after it. I assumed it was sarcasm ....as in....'why should I pay it?'

[mightylegend]

Possibly is .

Hi sara .


Bye all

[sara3]

yes, I did appreciate that!

personally, if someone came after me for a bill that I wasn't responsible I would contact them and say, "you need to direct your request to... ", which would be far more productive than plastering a 3rd party's name and address on the web.

the undertakers seem to hold 10CS's contact details rather than the one who made the arrangements, which seems a little strange.

[sara3]

hey ML, nice to see you :o)