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My ex partner has not provided me with any financial help in 5 years for our 2 children. I have recently been in touch with the csa, and now he is threatening to leave his job unless I agree to his proposed payments. I was happy to do this in the past, but feel that I cannot trust him now and he wont stick to this agreement. I am wondering if there is anyway I can make an agreement between us that is somehow legally binding, without darggin it thru the courts and incurring extra expense? Does any1 have any ideas on this please?
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Dealing with the CSA should be avoided at all costs as they are a bunch of inefficient morons.
If you can come to an informal agreement with your ex then you should go for it.
Why don't you suggest he sets up a monthly or weekly direct debit? This way, he can't "forget" to make the payments and it limits your contact with him. It will also provide you with a record of his payments. This could come in handy if he stops paying you and you do have to involve the CSA. It will prove that he could afford to pay �x each month but has chosen to stop doing so.
Point out to him that once the CSA get their claws into him they will never let go and he would probably end up paying far more if they are involved.
Don't under any circumstances accept cash from him.
If you can come to an informal agreement with your ex then you should go for it.
Why don't you suggest he sets up a monthly or weekly direct debit? This way, he can't "forget" to make the payments and it limits your contact with him. It will also provide you with a record of his payments. This could come in handy if he stops paying you and you do have to involve the CSA. It will prove that he could afford to pay �x each month but has chosen to stop doing so.
Point out to him that once the CSA get their claws into him they will never let go and he would probably end up paying far more if they are involved.
Don't under any circumstances accept cash from him.
thanks. I know the csa has had its fair share of bad press over the years. You sound like you talk from personal experience. I never wanted to involve them, but the whole reason he has suggested paying me now is because i,ve been in touch with them. Wouldn,t of come about otherwise. I just want security in these payments, and feel this is the only way to do that now. He has told me today that he has now handed his notice in so we will wait and see. Either way I won,t be any worse off than I am now! He claims I wont receive half what they deduct from him, would you know if thats right?
Hi again.
No, that's not true. If they take a sum from him, that's the sum you'll receive.
Saying that, my niece had nothing from her ex for 14 months and called him every name under the sun. She then found out he HAD been paying the CSA but they had "lost" the money. I think they said they put it into the wrong account. Luckily he could prove from his wage slips that they'd taken the money, but it took another 6 months before my niece got it.
They are rubbish.
if you can come to some agreement with your ex you CAN cancel the CSA's involvement at any stage. Just write to them and say you wish to drop your claim as you have a voluntary arrangement with your ex.
Important - if you ever write to them, send it by recorded delivery. My nieces ex sent photocopies of all his payslips to the CSA. They claimed they'd never received them until he pointed out he'd used recorded delivery and then they miraculously turned up 5 minutes later!
Good luck.
No, that's not true. If they take a sum from him, that's the sum you'll receive.
Saying that, my niece had nothing from her ex for 14 months and called him every name under the sun. She then found out he HAD been paying the CSA but they had "lost" the money. I think they said they put it into the wrong account. Luckily he could prove from his wage slips that they'd taken the money, but it took another 6 months before my niece got it.
They are rubbish.
if you can come to some agreement with your ex you CAN cancel the CSA's involvement at any stage. Just write to them and say you wish to drop your claim as you have a voluntary arrangement with your ex.
Important - if you ever write to them, send it by recorded delivery. My nieces ex sent photocopies of all his payslips to the CSA. They claimed they'd never received them until he pointed out he'd used recorded delivery and then they miraculously turned up 5 minutes later!
Good luck.
Thankyou. He is adamant that is what happens for admin, and that he will not pay someone to sit at a desk all day. I know it is a large amount as he also has arrears. I just feel that this is the right option for me personally at the moment, as he has never maintained any agreements in the past. It sounds like your niece has been unlucky in her dealings with them. Thankyou for takin the time to answer my question.
ct benefit and housing benefit are means tested - you cant get them if your income is over a certain amount. f your ex starts paying then you will have to inform the benefits office, and it may affect your benefit as you will have more income. If it comes throught the csa, as i said they may take some of the money he pays in order to pay the taxpayers back for bringing up his children and supporting them for him
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