How do I explain to my expartner

[sterartoisii]

that our son calls my new partner 'daddy' now? My ex moved abroad and only sees our son a couple of times a year, he is due back shortly and I think hes gonna be upset as our son calls my man daddy, I havnt corrected him, as hes more of a father than his 'real' dad. I know its gonna send him ballistic, but surely I have to consider our sons feelings as well. He adores his new daddy, they do everything together, wheras his 'dad' spends a couple of hours with him or takes him to his sometimes girlfriends or leaves him with his mum. Advice welcome, tia

[jen78]

How old is your son?

Is he old enough to understand about having two daddies?

[mumandmore]

encourage your child to call them daddy paul and daddy stephen or whatever? he'll need to diffrentiate between them when talking about them anyway. or maybe ask you son whether its okay to call both daddy, and if not what he thinks the solution could be - you never know, he may come out with a really good solution - he doesn't have to know that it is because you know his birth daddy will be really hurt he calls your partner daddy - he could just consider the confusion of two daddies with the same name!

[sterartoisii]

Yes hes old enough to understand, he hardly talks about his 'real' dad at all, my partner thinks I shouldnt make a fuss but I know what a foul temper my ex has, I dont think hes gonna be pleased. I will try and chat to my son about it but not sure hes gonna go for the 'daddy name'. Will catch up on this tomorrow. Ta

[sterartoisii]

Yes hes old enough to understand, he hardly talks about his 'real' dad at all, my partner thinks I shouldnt make a fuss but I know what a foul temper my ex has, I dont think hes gonna be pleased. I will try and chat to my son about it but not sure hes gonna go for the 'daddy name'. Will catch up on this tomorrow, my kips calling. Ta

[jen78]

Hard one that.

I have to say I'd find it hard to find out a child of mine was calling another woman mummy.

Could he call them different versions of daddy? Something to distinguish them?

[finbard4]

very tricky sitution,but its hard from both sides.having children myself and not living with them and also lived with partners with children,i personally would not like my children calling anybody else dad,but if dad away alot his shoes will get filled in.so ask his real dad what happening and tell him he has to ring or keep in touch more,then explain to your partner the situation and abide by it,if does not happen review again.ultimately i think child age a big factor to

[phillipa.d]

I would go absolutely ape if my ex had another woman (in fact he has several) and one of them wanted my kids to call her Mum. No way.

I dont know why, but i can imagine kids saying Daddy Paul, Daddy Stephen, etc, that's exactly what my brother's step daughter does, but you can't have two Mums, you just can't!!

My ex (kid's real dad) once said to my littlest one, "yes you can come to my house - just check with your Dad" (!!!!!) I obviously replied "YOU are her Dad". Thicko. Still can't believe it to this day.

[sterartoisii]

Thanks for the advice guys, its a help. I'm trying to be mindful of my exes feelings too, but if Im honest I am glad we split up cos we(my son my partner and I) are a 'proper' family now. It irks me that my ex doesn't spend enough time with his son, but at the end of the day he'll always be his dad albeit an absent one. I probably worry too much, after all but to see my son with my partner, you'd think that they were father and son. Am getting all emotional now.