How to handle my inlaws

[kekearney]

My husband and I have had a good relationship with his parents for the last 9 years we've been married. We currently do not have any children, and are currently pursuing adoption. We recently moved 2,500+ miles so my husband could attend an top-notch MBA program. My husband agreed to visit his parents during spring break without discussing this with me first. His father has been battling cancer and they really want to spend time with him. They are very upset with me that I don't want to spend my vacation with them and my husband's loser brother and his family, who continues to ask us for money (even though right now I'm the only one working). 2 and 1/2 years ago my brother-in-law lived with us (only 3 months...we couldn't stand it any longer) and he has lived with his parents for the last 2 years. He is divorced from his first wife and just had a baby with his girlfriend. (she already has another child by someone else). For the last 9 years I've tried to fit into my husband's family's life (we see them for every holiday) and I've tried to support my husband in maintaining this relationship. I feel my in-laws are not respecting my desire to plan our (my husbands' and mine) time together. My husband does not have much free time and I was looking forward to spending time together. My mother-in-law called my husband (her son) to berate him about why he may not come and see his parents when his Dad may be dead in a few years (due to cancer). I'm hurt that they would use manipulation on us (like my parents tried 10 years ago and I had to end that relationship). Also, since I have had no connection with my family (due to my own choosing because they are completely dysfunctional) my in-laws don't recognize that if I didn't end that relationship they would not have been able to see their son as often as they have over the last 9 years. Also, I thought my husband's parents cared about me (they said they did like a daughter), but ever since we've moved, they'