Am I wrong

[Velvetee]

All morning my 48 year old sister has been sending me abusive text messages.

Before Christmas, I found she had withdrawn �640 from my 83 year old mother's bank account, my mum was not aware of this. Then on Monday, she withdrew �250 and gave �140 to my mother, retaining the rest for herself.

Yesterday, she again visited my mother and demanded her bank book. She became very irate, because I have taken it and it's now in my safe at home. She is accusing me of being a money grabber and saying I am only pregnant because I want my mother's money.

I am worried for my mother, she has carers three times per day and has to pay for this service, we have not been able to pay for this recently, because my sister has cleaned out the account.

I don't understand how anyone could treat a vulnerable, elderly person like this. Apparently, my sister told my mum her husband had said, when my mum dies, my sister won't get a penny. It seems they are trying to reap in as much cash as they can beforehand.

Am I wrong to think this kind of behaviour is despicable, as she doesn't seem to think what she is doing is wrong?

[4getmenot]

Of course it is wrong very wrong. Maybe you can speak to your mother so only someone that is trustworthy can access her account. But then do you know for sure your mother hasn�t just let her have it. It�s a difficult one

[Sasha-2008]

That's terrible behaviour from a grown woman, especially towards her own mother.

I think taking the card away was the right thing to do. Your sister may say your a money grabber, but at least you know the truth is that you are only doing what is best for your mother.

We have had fallings out with family, and now my mum has not seen or spoken to her dad in 4 years. It's very sad.

Families are funny things really.

[Velvetee]

Well my mother say's she was not aware so much had been withdrawn, as her eyesight isn't good and she finds the fine print hard to see.

I know my sister is a thief, as there was an incident in M&S some years ago, when a lady forgot her shopping. My sister grabbed the bag, ran out of the shop and onto a bus. She could quite easily have handed the bag into the staff, as the woman probably would have returned to claim it.

[mrs_overall]

The withdrawal of the �640 was theft.
Go to the police.

[Nosha123]

OH MY GOD! What can we say! She sounds like a right nasty piece of work! I'm sorry to sl*g off your own sister but that is LOW! I would do as much as you can to protect anything valuable that belongs to your mother since that could be her next plan!!!!! You could also involve the police - but you may not want to put your elderly mother through all that!
Scum bag!!! You are right to think that she is despicable! Sadly there are people like that in the world - and sadly I dont expect it will ned when your mum passes on.... there will be family arguments over wills etc!
What can you do! I dont know. Just try to be the better person.
When is it ever right to take someones money or belongings without their knowledge? Its theft - simple as that .
If your sister thinks she has done nothing wrong - tell her you will let the Police make that decision!!!

[Nosha123]

Oh and keep the abusive ext messages too! They could be used as proof!!!! Keep a diary of events too!
Just disgusting!
I feel sorry for you and your poor mum!

[Velvetee]

Unfortunately Nosha, she is really thick and it seems everything I have said to her, she just repeats back to me, about me. She is just not right in the head and has no conscience.

[iBrowse]

scamming your own mum is just wrong.....tut tut

[unrulyjulie]

Agree with Mrs O Veletee. I know she's your sister and it wont be easy but it IS theft no matter which way you look at it and if she is sending abusive texts, you can also report this.

As the old saying goes, you can chose your friends...........

[Velvetee]

Well the problem is, my sister is a signatory on the account, even if reported, sh will just say she has a right to withdraw it. She seems to be very jealous of me too and resents that I do ok for myself.

As I see things, we all make choices in our lives, I chose to have a career, choose to be with a decent man, who doesn't abuse me and want to lead a decent life. She is completely the opposite and blames everyone for her bad situation.

She chose to go to the Caribbean and marry an alcoholic layabout, even when we advised her not to, he's now living here, claiming off the state, is always drunk and abuses her.

How is this MY fault?

[iBrowse]

go to the po-lice....

[Nosha123]

Never a truer word said.. Always beware of people who just repeat the accusations right back at you! Its a cover!
Cos they cant think of anything else to say - so their side of the argument is to accuse you of the same.
Let her carry on her sad life with no consience.. from inside a prison cell she will have a lot of spare time to think about what she has done..
I do think you need to consider the Police though - she isnt going to stop - or get any better!

[mrs_overall]

If your sister is a signatory then that puts a different light on it. Get your mum to sign the forms to have your sister removed as signatory immediately.
As has been said, keep the text messages - you are being harrassed.

[redcrx]

Id go to the police.
Just because shes a signatory on the account doesnt mean that she should be removing the money without your mums authority.
get some advice from the police.

[puddicat]

Velvet maybe contact" help the aged" they are a excellent charity,they maybe maybe be able to help you!!!

[puddicat]

sorry one to many maybe lol!!!

[Le Chat]

Someone I know did exactly the same and conned/stole the lifesavings out of his own mother. His brother informed the police and he got put away for 3 yrs. Don't let your sister get away with it.

[brenda]

What an awful mess and disgraceful as well.

Is your Mother able to go to the bank if you went with her?

If you went with her for support she could explain to the manager if she needs to , what has been happening.

Is her pension paid into the bank?
This would let the care providers invoice you for their work and you could settle the bill.
I did this for my uncle who was 90 for many years.
It also saves cash being in the house, especially when the pension and other benefits are paid double at Bank holiday times.
You could arrange for your Mother to have a little available cash in her purse on a regular basis, providing that you live near enough to do this.
Has Mother made a will, if not she should certainly do that, and you could keep this in your safe, or let a solicitor keep it if that is what Mother wants.

Keep the texts as advised and yes go to the police as well.

Is Mother able to understand what has been happening?
If she is not sufficiently lucid you may be wise to get her a social worker who you can make aware of the position.

You may need ultimately to seek Power of attorney for your Mother's affairs--Help the Aged have fact sheets on this.

Has your Mother any expensive items e.g jewellery or whatever, if you can get Mother to put these in your safe keeping , it will stop your sister flogging them for cash.

Do not get into confrontation with your sister, personally or on the phone, this will not help you, and it may push your sister into violence as far as Mother is concerned.

Your priority is to protect Mother at all times from this nasty, wicked scumbag of a daughter, who is a thief as well.

Good Luck, please let us know how you get on if you can, we shall be thinking of you.
Be strong for your Mother.
x

[blackcat77]

I think that your sister sounds despicable! Thank goodness your mother has you - what about changing her bank account so your sister no longer has access to your mother's affairs? And you having Power of Attorney? Best of luck and I hope that your pregnancy is going well.

[zzxxee]

there are some sick people out there sorry to hear your sister is such a sicko