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daughter has been groomed in The AnswerBank: Family & Relationships
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daughter has been groomed

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tinkie | 14:33 Sun 27th Sep 2009 | Family & Relationships
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my 18 year old daughter has been groomed by a 30 year old trans-sexual lesbian from the first day that she started her job and she can't understand why I can't be happy with it. She is hardly at home anymore as she doesn't like to see my tear stained eyes, she has had lots of boyfriends in the past and I don';t know what to do, even my poor dog has picked up on it, and is moping asbout the house. She thinks that her Dad is fine with it, but he is as devastated as I am, he is just coping better than me. Please don't get me wrong I am not anti gay, as i have many gay friends but I know that she was targeted from the start and this woman who should know better at her age had taken advantage, as she has tried it on with every young girl who is employed there.
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This is a joke...right?
Question Author
I wish it was, you should see the state of me :-(
She's 18, and can legally do what she wants. She's hardly being groomed is she? She's not a child! Would you be weeping and wailing if it was a hetrosexual male of 30 who was chatting her up and obviously wanting a date?

Leave your daughter to sort out her own love life, if she's also keen on the person, then it might be time for you to pick yourself up and actually put her happiness before you own and accept her choices.
This is one of the hardest things as parents we have to do. Watch our children get into unsuitable relationships and wait for the fallout, all you can do is calmly point out the pitfalls and be there when it falls apart, as it undoubtedly will if the older woman will move on to the next target.

There is no quick fix to this but keep telling her you love her and not just how much you are hurting.
Take care

M
Question Author
I am sorry boo if I upset you, and yes I would be worrying if it was a 30 year old male, and yes I do call it grooming as she has just come out of a long term relationship with a boy her own age, this woman took every opportunity to flatter and text my daughter and mamyalynne I do tell her that I love her all the time I can't help that my eyes swell up, other people can cry and nobody would know, but not me, which is how she knows that I am hurting, but thanks for your comments
I do understand and we have all been there in some shape or form it is so very hard to bear, but you will get through it and come out the other side.

M
Your daughter may form a 'friendship' with this older woman, however, it will only last if your daughter truly reciprocates the feelings of this predatory older woman (your view). If she does, then you have a gay daughter.......if she doesn't, then she simply has a bit of a crush and she'll grow out of it.
At 18 I had a baby with a 29 year old man.....he didn't groom me. It was my choice.
Shame about the poor dog!
I agree with BOO....Lesbianism is here to stay...............I can't ask you to like it, but I am asking you to go along with it.
as a mother of a 18 year old i can understand your concerns tinkie because at 18 and 30 most people are on different levels mentally .
but as she is of a legal age all you can do is offer her love dont be judgemental and i bet at 18 this relasionship will fizzle out eventually let nature take its course x
agree with BOO, at 18 she can look after herself, gromming is isual done on younger girls that dont know what a relationship is about and as you've said she has just come out of one so I'm sure she has her own mind by now. It seems to me that you just want your daughter to have a life that you have planned for her and are a bit dissapointed she's got feelings for the same sex
I'm guessing tinkie that this is the first time she has given you any cause for concern ?

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