worried about neighbours little girl

[aims1202]

I am really worried about the little girl who lives in the flat above us and not really sure what to do about it. I know the family quite well, they are friendly, have two kids 10yrs and 3yrs and their children play with mine, both mum and dad appear to be nice people, they help us out and we do the same for them.
But what i hear through the ceiling is very different and worries me a lot, especially as it seems to be getting worse recently. The younger girl crys a lot, i would say every evening i hear her crying for a long time and I often hear the dad in what i would say is a rage and it seems to be aimed at the little girl, he shouts very loud and i have heard what sounds like he's throwing things. Ocassionally its made me jump with fright when i hear him its so loud and the little girl is screaming and crying. The other night was the worst i've heard, i was actually woken up by him shouting and, then a loud bang at the same time the girl was crying and screaming i'm sorry daddy, i'm sorry daddy, i love you daddy over and over, she sounded terrified, i could hear it was about her wetting the bed. I was so upset by this that i now feel i should do something but just not sure where to turn. I am not sure if i should be poking my nose into other peoples lives and i don't really know what is going on as i only hear little bits, but on the other hand if that little girl is being harmed in anyway i have to do something to help her. Any advice really appreciated.

[sherrardk]

If you are concerned enough to come on here and ask for advice then you must do something about this although I don't know what (sorry - really unhelpful).

[philkool]

phone child line now and tell them what you have heard, do it now ??

[sara3]

what exactly are you waiting for? do you not see newspaper headlines?

[alexanderd]

dont wait, phone childline now you dont have to give your name

[B00]

Oh god, how horrible for you to hear that- it'd break my heart to hear that coming through the walls!

You can phone Childline anonymously (0800 1111) and even contact Social Services by email
http://www.rbwm.gov.u...m/?F.Name=h-pf-jkr7aw

Have you thought of talking to the wife of the couple? Not sure how you'd go about it, but maybe ask how they're getting on with the toilet training or something? See if she tells you anything?

I know it's easy for us to say you must do something, we're not in that situation, but I know i couldn't live with myself if on the slim chance the little girl gets hurt.

Good luck, let us know how you go on?

[suzie1]

forget talking to the couple, i would call childline and the police straight away, as far as you know he could be sexualy abusing that girl, or beating her black and blue, please report it asap, it brings tears to my eyes, if i was you i would go straight up to the flat with some police officers or some friends and have it out with them...it makes me sick, poor poor baby

[suzie1]

please let us know whats happening and if the girl is ok, do you see the little girl after you hear them abusing her?how does she seem, u would never forgive yourself if you didnt do anything to help her, so please do,we need more people like you that would notice this kind of thing and help thousands of children out there being abused

[lil123]

You need to report this straight away to social services.
The child is vulnerable and if her dad is harming her it needs to stop.
Next time it happens I would call the police as well as if it's being going on for along time, the parents must be thinking they are getting away with it.

[Whoever]

Phone Childline or the NSPCC. I think both of these organisations also have websites, so as you've got a computer you might find some helpful advice there.
However, as you know the family quite well, I think yoiu should consider going up to see the parents. It won't be easy for you to say to them "You're not going to like what I'm going to say but I feel I owe it to you to say this to you face. I'm seriously concerned that your little girl is being either physically or mentally abused."
We can't continue to live underneath you and not do anything about the distress and screaming we hear from your daughter . But before I contact the NSPCC , is there anything you want to tell me."
I can't guarantee what reaction you will get but in view of your closeness to them, I feel you should at least have the courage to say this to their faces. They may have severe family problems of one kind or another and an organisation like the NSPCC will probably have Welfare Officers who can help them if the stresses are getting too much for them to cope with. But whether you go this route or not, I don't think you can sit on your concerns without acting. I think Both Childline and the NSPCC have phone lines and their websites will probably also give you some guidance on how to go about reporting your concerns.

[cleonew]

For what its worth I agree with Whoever, but I'm not sure I'd be brave enough, so have sympathy for you. But please contact someone - it breaks my heart to read this and it must break yours to hear it, you have to do something. Hopefully its just that he has a bad temper and he is just shouting, I know I lose it with my little girl occasionally but would never hurt her.
If you can muster the courage to speak to them, take someone with you and their reaction should give you some idea of how bad the problem is. Good luck - I really hope the little girl is OK.

[karenmac60]

I've done child protection courses at work and we have been told if we have the SLIGHTEST worry a child is at risk we should contact either the local police, local social services duty team or police family protection unit. If there is not a problem and it can all be explained then the professionals will not be put out at you calling them - just glad that you brought a potential situation to their attention. If the parents are any sort of decent people and there is a genuine explanation they will also be glad you were looking out for their child. If there is a problem then you have done the right thing and will hopefully stop any further harm coming to the poor wee girl. I personally wouldn't give a damn about sticking my nose in if I thought a child was being harmed, and how many high profile cases have we heard of recently where children have ended up dead - do you think their neighbours heard what was going on? I know it's hard, but do the right thing, Good luck

[aims1202]

thanks for your answers, she actually does come round here quite a bit, she always wants to and gets very upset if she's not allowed. She does not appear to be being hurt physically and she was playing in our paddling pool in the summer i never saw anything then. But she is very quiet and nervous most of the time. I dont think i should call the police, it seems a bit extreme. Even though i know her mum quite well i dont think i have the guts to say anything about it to her but i am going to call the nspcc helpline and see what they say. I cant do nothing i'm just so nervous about reporting them. I could be completely wrong and i have to carry on living below them, i think they will know it was me as i am the only one who could hear it.

[welshfox]

You should ring the police. We do all the checks with social services anyway, and if we feel that the child is in any danger, we take the child into protective custody immediately. That may sound harsh to you, and I understand that you're concerned about her family, but she is only a child and cannot defend herself against her bullying father. Who knows, he could have already 'beaten' bed wetting out of his son, and could be abusing his wife too, as it sounds like he has major anger issues. Please call it in. You dont even have to give your name or address, but please do it. Even if you ring the NSPCC, they will cotnact the police, so please do it, as who knows when this guy's anger will be pushed to the limit and her smiling face could be another tragic photograph in the media.

[Androcles]

I really understand your problem - it is difficult when you live in a close environment. If you don't feel you have enough to go to the authorities, could you start off with going and seeing them and just saying, "What on earth was up with "name" last night, you all sounded really upset - I nearly came up to see if you needed any help? and see what reaction you get.... If it is a bad one, get onto the phone as the others have suggested....

[brenda]

You can phone the Nspcc anonomously -- I have done this once in the past . Just say that you do not wish to give your name. They will take the matter very seriously indeed, tell them everything you have heard . An Inpector will be round to the house before you know it and they will not, will not disclose that it was you.

Just do it , you could be savin g a child's life.You will never regret taking this action -- it is one of the finest things you can do.

[aims1202]

thank you all for your advice i have just called the nspcc and they have decided to refer it to social services she explained it could be that they will help the dad with his anger and parenting and give the family support if they need it. It was such a hard thing to do but its a relief to have done it now. thanks again.

[B00]

Oh im so glad you've done something.

I thought about this most of last night, and made a point and to tip toe into my 4 yr olds room to plant a kiss on her, she snored in my face!

I'm sure it really is a case of the dad going a bit mental over toilet training, I know how frustrating it can be, but it really is better to be safe than sorry.

Thanks so much for getting back to us and letting us know.

[aims1202]

thanks boo i know i've done the right thing for their little girl, but i can't stop thinking about it and i feel guilty about doing it to her mum. I'm probably worrying for nothing and it maybe that her mum will be glad about it as she could be frightened to do anything herself. I also don't know how he will be with me as they will know it was me who called them.

[brenda]

You have done a very brave and difficult thing. But so very, very right . It will be hard for you to deal with t6his ,but you have probably stopped a family tragedy .Feel so proud of your courage and action.Brenda.