Am I overeaccting and being selfish

[chilliwitch]

My 17(soon to be 18)year old has told me that he wants to join the army.I am worried sick and told him that I really don't want him to join however I wont stop him if it's what he really wants to do.I feel physically sick at the thought and have told him that he will be giving himself a death sentence.I really dont want him to go and cannot sleep through worry.I've suggested he tries the RAF or police.Am I being an nuerotic parent???

[mollykins]

Is he in army cadets? going to air army or sea cadet courses gives a taster for what life is like in their respective forces. But if he isn't already, it will be too late to join.

[jackthehat]

How far along the route has he gone ?
Does he have any idea of what trade he wants to follow..................or does he just want to have a gun and go and shoot people ?
The Army Careers Offices can explain to him the type of 'trades' available. Quite a lot of which could provide him with relative safety..............and his mum with a better peace of mind.
I had the same thing with my precious boy, at 17. I told him that I wouldn't sign his papers unless he went in and qualified in things he could carry out to civvy street - which ruled out guns and tanks :o)

He's been in for 6 years. Yes, he did go out to Afghanistan. And apparently I needn't have worried half as much as I did.............and I will feel better should he have to go out again.

Reverse psychology may work on your boy..........become really enthusiatic about the Army, choose a new colour-scheme for his bedroom for when he moves out......

Other than that, breathe deeply and tell yourself that whilst you are not neurotic, you are not a wide-eyed 17 year-old boy, either.

Best of luck.

[Sqad]

How about giving AB the opinion of his father...........your husband.

[jackthehat]

Sqad - chilliwitch does not need to provide her son's fathers views.............she is entitled to express her views as a mum, and ask questions.
Should Mrchilliwitch want to post, I should think that he will, but until such a time, I think it better to deal with the facts as presented.............

[LoftyLottie]

I would be devastated! No you are not being neurotic, and you are wise in realising it is his decision. Fortunately, my son had no inclination to go into the forces.

[NiceCupOfTea]

I always used to think 'no child of mine shall ever join the army' due to my wanting to protect them from death. This was even before I had BabyCuppa.

However, then I met my husband. His mum wouldn't sign the form to allow him to join when he was 17. He ended up in the forces anyway when he was able to join without her permission. It's still a sore point that she prevented him doing the one thing he'd set his heart on.

Therefore, BabyCuppa will be allowed to join should that be their chosen course. Plus, if I said 'no' MrCuppa would probably not make me a cuppa ever again. Baby would do it anyway, and so the cycle repeats.

[zzxxee]

as a mother i can totally understand your worry, as jack the hat suggested let him go to his army/navy/raf careers office for information they are the best people to advise him
but telling a 17 year old he faces a death senatance will probably only make him even more determined to join,
you need to let him find his way x

[chilliwitch]

Thank you all for your answers,they made me feel a bit better!Sqad,Mr Chilliwitch(my husband but not my sons father)has the same opinion as me and thinks he would be silly to join,my sons real father couldn't give a flying f??? about what his son does but thats a different matter!I have spoken to my son and haven't advised his to go to the army careers but to see his careers officer at school,as he is still in 6th form.I think I did initially overreact but still feel terrified by the thought of it but as zzxxee says I have to let him make his own mind up.
You people are great!!!TYVM

[zzxxee]

your welcome and if it is an concilasion somes the basic training is enough to make people drop out when they find out how tough the forces life can really be!!!!

[bootyqueenpaige]

Hi, I am 18 and i don't think you are being nuerotic in the slightest, personally i thinl you are great and it just goes to show you really love you son ... try explaining to him how you feel try and find some facts about how many soldiers have died show him i'm sure he may reconsider something so risky xxx

[madmaggot]

IMO you are just expressing what any normal Mum feels. But, as you say, in the end he has to make his own decisions.