Are family really worth it?

[WiseOldSage]

My step father of 36 years dismissed me from my job in the family business last year on jumped up charges. The matter has been settled before the tribunal was heard (financially) but what I can't get over is the rest of my family. I had no money to pay my mortgage and didn't get another job for months (and then only part time) and yet they still give the guy air time.

He is divorced from my mother now but she still speaks to him on a daily basis (I think she is worried the gravy train will dry up) and my sister (who was all for giving him a piece of her mind if he rang) still sends him cards and stuff.

My youngest sister (my half sister and his daughter) won't have a word said against him yet he has lied to everyone about everything since we were all kids.

He is out of my life but I am so cheesed off with my family that he has "got away" with his bad behaviour again. I have rowed with my youngest sister because of her loyalty to him and told her I should have washed my hands of her when I found out a few years ago she had been caught in bed with my ex husband!!! End of that relationship!

Do we really need family like that cos I am being made out to be the bad guy and the one rocking the boat!!!!!

[4getmenot]

no you dont and if he is out of your life dont let it bother you. end of

[ummmm]

They are entitled to feel which ever way they feel.

[WiseOldSage]

I understand that, ummmm, and as far as I am concerned they are all welcome to him and his pathological lies. But I did nothing wrong and they won't have anything to do with me or are off because I took him to a tribunal for unfair dismissal. That doesn't seem fair. On that basis I am asking are they worth it if I try and do what's right yet he gets the sympathy vote for being a w****r

[4getmenot]

so your mother speaks to you but not yout half sister. It is her father you can understand that. and she isnt mature enough to realise it was between you and your step dad sont worry yourself about it and if she slept with your ex husband then hardly your loss

[LoftyLottie]

Don't lose sleep over it. You can't change them or what they think. Rise above it and let them find out in their own good time.

Just move foreward and get on with your life. Bearing grudges and ill feeling really does you no good.

You don't have to like your family, but it's not worth falling out with them and they shouldn't be shaping or affecting your life.

Good luck.

[WiseOldSage]

They all knew there was no reason to get rid of me other than to move his fancy woman into my job. He has lied to them all in the past and they have all, in turn, stopped speaking to him over relatively trivial stuff (he told my sister my mother had said her dinner party was awful). Yet I lose my job, can't pay my mortgage, have two kids and it's, oh well, we all know what Dad's like.

He told everyone my mother tried to cut the brakes on his car when he left her!!!! Hardly trivial I know but why to morons like that continually get air time?

[LoftyLottie]

I seem to have echo'd Vibra. Sorry. I should have read through the thread properly!!

[LoftyLottie]

:o)

[ummmm]

He must have some good points?

[4getmenot]

would seem you do care the way you are talking about it. So only you can decide what you do

[WiseOldSage]

Nope ... I can say with 100% confidence that he does not have one endearing quality!

[ummmm]

But he has an ex wife and a fancy woman. They must like something about him..

[WiseOldSage]

I'm bothered that the people I term as my family (who are now his ex wife - my mum - and his ex step daughter - my sister) still feel they owe him.

My half sister can go to hell - she only got away with what she did because I had already left my husband. Taking her father's side was her second and last time of shafting me so I am not interested in her.

[ummmm]

Nothing could have made me turn my back on my Dad..

(Well...almost nothing)

[WiseOldSage]

Fancy woman left him!