Home Alone

[cocopops]

At what age can a child be left home alone for a few hours or a whole day?

[society]

A CHILD left home alone?

[lardhelmet]

12?

[cocopops]

Ok, thanks. My daughter is 14 and very responsible, so just wanted to check.

[lardhelmet]

NSPCC says there is no legal limit - depends on the individual, so if you think your daughter is sensible enough at 14, then you must decide if you'd feel comfortable leaving her

[cocopops]

Thanks lardhelmet. I have left her home a few times and have had no problems but just wanted to know what the legal age would be in case a neighbour or somebody complained.

Thanks for your response.

[zzxxee]

i have two kids aged 18 and 13 at 14 my eldest was ok to be left but my youngest i think would panic i think it depends on how mature the child is i wouldnt dream of leaving a child at 12 !!!!! are you crazy lard ??

[hippyhoppy]

Mine are 15 and 11 and I have no choice but to leave them for a couple of hours for shopping etc... Don't have the luxury of a husband any more..

[zzxxee]

yes hippy but your eldest is 15 so can supervise your 11 year old you wouldnt leave your 11 year old otherwise would you x

[China Doll]

At 11/121 I could have been left alone for a whole day as I would have actually quite liked it but middle sister and baby sister at the same age couldn't have been... Middle would get anxious and stressed and baby would probably throw some sort of wild 11 year old grafetti party. As stated, it does depend on the child but I think 14 is acceptable to be left alone for a few hours.

[Quentin_Crisp]

Children being left alone at home at those young ages is just asking for trouble.
What would happen if a fire broke out ?
Would they be able to get out of the house? But it out?
If a stranger knocked at the door and persuaded them to open it?
Hope you could live with yourselves then.

You have friends and neighbours - ask them and keep the litle ones safe always.

[bobjugs12]

Quentin, I can see where your coming from but it is a big bad world out there. The earlier your kids learn skills such as danegr awareness, independance and self-reliabiity, the better for them.

You can't wrap them in cotton wool, and even if you could, should you?

As to the OP, i would say it depends on the kids maturity. If your daughter has a good head on her shoulders at 14, and your comfortable with that then do (as a parent) what you think is right.

Hope this helps :)

[Booldawg]

Thats half the trouble Quentin ,alot of people dont have a strong enough relationship with friends and neighbours to ask them to look after the kids. I dont even know the name of our next door neighbours! I make the effort to say good morning, if I didnt they'd sooner put their head down and pretend not to have seen me! Its not like we've ever fallen out over anything - its jsut todays insular society.

[Quentin_Crisp]

You make a good point, bobjugs12 - but just think of the guilt if something was to happen. Could you live with yourself that you left a 12/13 year old alone at home?

There is always a risk. My solution is to have a neighbour/friend look in on them, maybe hourly if possible.

[Quentin_Crisp]

I can completely understand what you are saying also, Booldawg

Some neighbours are just not nice and will not do this for you, so where does this leave you and the children? If child is responsible and knows of the dangers, a SHORT time could be acceptable, but 6-10 hours is completely unacceptable, in my opinion.

[LoftyLottie]

I totally agree with Bobjugs.

[bobjugs12]

I think the trade off between mitigating risk and letting your children live is a hard one. For me the best way i've found is education.

My 8 year old knows how to operate a fire extinguisher, dial 999, and how to react to strangers. She also knows where to kick a man if she is in danger. At the same time, she is a very mature child (having a brother with special needs will do that to you) and even at 8 I would be comfortable with her having space and growing up like we did. Believe it or not, the world is a safer place for kids now than it was back then.

[LoftyLottie]

My child at 12/13 could have coped as well as any adult in a dangerous situation, and probably better than me. Having said that he always knew how to contact the neighbours, and would never have entertained opening doors to strangers. It depends so much on the child. I think that children are too wrapped in cotton wool these days. By the time they are 16 they should be able to cope with independence if necessary, and this has to be be learned. There is no magic age where a child suddenly can cope.

[LoftyLottie]

Agree with Bobjugs again! :o)

[bobjugs12]

It's horses for courses, and I will not stand in judgement on any other parents decision, just for me letting kids be kids is important.

Broken teeth, broken bones, ripped clothes, fights, mud, tummy bugs, falling out of trees. It's all part of a rich tapestry that shapes us into the adults we are today. Life is a gamble, and if you raise someone who is risk averse then they will not be able to enjoy the benefits that the gamble offer.

[LoftyLottie]

We, hopefully, all do what we think is best for our children and what we are comfortable with - it means making some hard decisions sometimes though! The joy of parenting. We never stop worrying about them even when they are adults.