Bed wetting problems

[tigwig]

Hi everyone, I have posted on here before about my daughter but the problem has got worse and I'm desperate for some tips and advice. Basically she is almost 6 and has never had a dry night. We are at present using bed mats instead of pull ups as I feel these have made her more lazy. She is still wetting the bed when she is asleep but using her potty more now. The main thing though is she has started wetting her pants through the day and has been doing this for several weeks and its getting more and more frequent to the point that she smells and is getting slightly sore. She doesn't completely wee and not bother going to the toilet she either cannot hold her wee or isn't aware she is doing it. I just don't know what to do with her. Sometimes she seems upset about it and sometimes she isn't at all bothered. I'm beginning to be embarrassed about it now though as you can clearly see wet patches through her clothes and I don't want her to get bullied because of it. I have taken her to GP and am waiting results in case there's an infection but this is unlikely. The school nurse has also been informed and I am waiting for feedback from her. I don't know whether to tell her off or maybe she can't help it. One friend of mine said she was the same as a child and had stress incontinence, something I didn't know kids could get. Please if anyone can give me advice I would be grateful.

[annie0000]

This might be of interest tigwig:

http://www.handsonsco...ileting/wets_bed.html

My eldest wasn't dry at night until he was 7, the younger one still isn't and he is 8 - we are now going to take him to the doctors, but I don't think there is actually anything wrong - both boys toilet trained quickly just before age 3 and have been fine during the day ever since, night time however has been different - I guess we just felt they would do it in their own time and just left them with pyjama pants and lifting them before bed. eldest was eventually dry most nights with the pants so we took them off and just had the bed pads, apart from a few times he has been dry since. Even with taking him to the toilet at night, restricting fluids etc. youngest has never been dry in the morning. It has taken much longer than my other son who at least was intermittently dry from 5 or 6. Youngest is not particularly bothered about it as we have never made a fuss about it. He is however getting to an age where he is able to go on overnight camps with the cubs, so we are all keen to sort it out now. My brothers were bedwetters I think into their teens and it does have a tendency to run in families.

I can remember going through a spell like your daughter during the day - I was really scared to go to the toilet as I believed it was haunted so I would avoid it until I was really desperate, but often would let a little bit of pee out to take the pressure off. I stopped when we moved house!!

[Iolanthe]

One of my grandsons had a similar problem till he was almost 8, wetting the bed when he was asleep, or having to be woken up to be on the safe side, and so my daughter bought a little gadget over the internet which was clipped to his pyjamas, which had a wire which attached to his trousers and, at the first sign of a drop of "wee", gave out a shrill alarm, which woke him up so that he could get to the loo in time. He only had to use it twice and has never had a problem since. (He is now nearly 12.) Somehow, the use of this programmed him to wake up naturally if he needed it. It's worth a try.

Sometimes, during the day, children don't want to use the loo as often as they should, and try to hang on till it's too late. Assuming that there is no medical reason for the problem, most children grow out of it. My elder daughter, who was then well over 4, used to go to bed with plastic pants, and a terry nappy pad (long before the days of disposables or pull-ups!) and was still very unreliable at night. We were looking after a neighbour's 4 year old while his mum went in to hospital to give birth, and this little boy asked my daughter "Why are you still wearing baby pants?" My small daughter told me "I don't want these any more" so we abandoned this method, and she never wet the bed after this time.

[Le Chat]

My sister's daughter is 9 and wears trainer pants every night. My sister is not at all concerned as one day she won't need! Certainly you don't get 14/15 yrs old children needing them!! She did go through a phase of weeing a bit in her pants during the day also. My sister again, just put a spare pair in her school bag and caused no fuss about it whatsoever. She stopped doing it one day, all of a sudden.
I hope that helps!
The no fuss, no stress approach is probably best, after any underlying causes have been ruled out.
It may be of interest though that my niece doesn't appear to have a very large bladder. I know this as I look after her and her sister in the school hols, with my 2 boys and even if they have all had exactly the same drinks and food during the day, she goes to the toilet twice as much as the others.

[clockman29]

Hi I don't know if this will help, when I was a boy of much the same age I had the same problem. I can remember wetting the bed and at school I was no different. I was taken to a clinic for this and the only thing they did was to offer me a sixpence if I was dry the next visit. This eventually (this did not happen over night) worked and I became dry. I now know this problem was caused by stress and believe me I did not have the confidence to ask for the toilet at school and was regularly sent home after doing number two's in my pants. I hope the will be of some help to you, even children can be stressed and show it in different ways

[welshlibranr]

My son had this problem, I noticed that it only ever happened when he was stressed! it did finally stop, when he was around 6/7!.....But only after we found out what was bothering him!!.....try not to ridicule her, you need to find out what she's worrying about...........hope you can work it out!..............

[tigwig]

Thanks for the answers, I have now spoken to the school nurse and she is been referred to a clinic. The nurse contradicted what the GP said and told me never to wake her to try and make her wee which I'm glad about as I hated doing it and it never worked. She also said not to go back to pull ups. I have also informed the school and her teachers so she can be allowed to go to the toilet whenever she needs to so hopefully she will soon get the expert help she needs.

[langara]

Hi, My son was about 11 and still wet the bed at night, we made no fuss and he stripped his bed each morning. Eventually he was reffered to a special clinic in Salisbury, the specialist only talked to him but it seemed to work, that and the fact he wanted to go Scout camp and I said he could only go if he didn't wet his sleeping bag. Looking back it was just one of those things, and eventually got resolved.

[beryl100able]

Of course there's stress incontinence. She's upset about something. I used to be incontinent and it was cured with new pyjamas. My mother didn't buy new ones because they were always getting stained, but as soon as she got me new ones I kept them clean. Take every opportunity to make her feel proud of herself as an individual and enhance her self-esteem in any way you can. Then see what happens. I'm not suggesting she's badly treated now, but sometimes it's hard to perceive particular things that a particular child may be very sensitive about. I think she needs counselling, which would go a long way to finding out the underlying problem.

[mike11111]

To many young children the toilet is a very private room. Although I am in my 60s now, I can remember soiling myself on the way home from school at the age of 5.I thought I could last out until I got home to my own toilet, but I didn't. Expecting a good smacking, I was surprised by my mother's understanding. Sometimes children don't want to inconvenience their parents or others, and have a dislike of communal lavatories, school or otherwise. Even now, although happy to use a public urinal, I am very reluctant to do so in the event of needing relief from the other end, unless dire necessity compels me, in which case I seek out the nearest well-appointed department store or hostelry.