Family & Relationships3 mins ago
would you do it?
57 Answers
Talking to a friend on the phone last night she informed me that my god daughter, (the daughter of a mutual friend of ours) is getting married in October this year, did I know because I hadn't mentioned it - everybody has had their invitation. (hubby and I haven't) Over the years, I've been a little silly with her and indulged her perhaps a little too much with presents that she 'desperately wants', I have also paid for her to go on her last trip with the school (ski-ing to Verbier) bought her tack for her horse, paid for a block of ten driving lessons, and bought her a 'Prom dress and shoes' when she was at Uni. I don't begrudge any of this, but a thank-you note would have been nice. I've told you this back story so you can see what type of girl she is. Anyway she phones me up this morning to tell me she's getting married, and she's not invited me because *I* will be doing the catering. Not asked, TOLD me! There's going to be a marquee on the lawn, etc, and she's coming over to discuss menu's with me next week. I told her not to come, because I wouldn't be doing it, and I put the phone down. she immediately rang back but I switched it to the answering machine. her mother, my friend has phoned too, apologising, saying perhaps we could 'work things out'. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to work out - but am I wrong?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Mercia. Your obviously a food fanatic from your posts so I would guess she automatically thought of you when planning her wedding. It would sound like you have indeed spoilt her and her presumption was a little presumtious but I think you may have over reacted. You obviously think the world of her so I would try
to build some bridges.
to build some bridges.
I don't normally venture in here, but, I'd side with you here mercia. 100%
You're not invited to the wedding but you can provide the catering instead?!!! How insensitive does she want to be? You don't owe her anything. If she wants to know why you're angry then tell her. Maybe you'll get an apology and a huge slice of humble pie (See what I did there?).
You're not invited to the wedding but you can provide the catering instead?!!! How insensitive does she want to be? You don't owe her anything. If she wants to know why you're angry then tell her. Maybe you'll get an apology and a huge slice of humble pie (See what I did there?).
I sincerely hope that if she's asking you to do the catering, she will be paying you the going rate for it - this is the most expensive part of the majority of wedding days (as I know from my own), and she can't assume, on the basis of what's gone before, that you would just agree to fund that aspect. What a cheek, what an ungrateful little madam.
I dont think it shoud have been presumed you should do it. I would let her apologise, not worth falling out over it and accept the apology but make it clear why you were upset and that on this occasion you do not want to do the catering but would love an invitation, an offer help in deciding menus etc if she would like.
redcrx why should you pay for the catering.? Be blowed if I would, But mercia I would say prehaps you couldsend the mother and goddaughter a letter explaining how annoyed and dissapointed you are with all of this.Explain yoy feel like you are being taken for granted. Say you would be heart broken if you didnt see her get married but thought you would be there as a guest. I am wondering if the girl thought your cooking is so excellent and that you may feel proud to do the catering for her. But it would have been nice if she had mentioned it first, but not had expected it as you would rather enjoy the day. Hope you get it sorted. Life is far too short.
I would consider what notafish said theres a possibility that it all came out wrong and she really just wants you involved in her big day and knows that you would do the best job but if she cant explain this and you still feel she has taken you for granted then I would tell her to stick it to be honest.
She's taken you for granted because you've dug deep in your pocket many times and she just presumed you'd dig deep in your oven! I agree "thank you" would be nice (been in that position and lost count of the number of times I've thought "never again" and then.....). However she has over-stepped the mark big-time and there are really no excuses. Send her a list of caterers as a present! I remember not being invited to a close person's wedding, when I'd been pretty involved in all sorts of family things, and even when I visited 2 days before the big day with their present, still nothing! They invited a load of hangers-on, and I was so gutted that I couldn't speak to them for 3 months (after get-togethers twice a week). Nowt so queer as folk, eh?