dilema 13 year old daughter being picked on

[zzxxee]

My 13 year old daughter is being picked on by the lad that lives next door but is also in her year at school
she wears a sports style bra as she is not comfortable with ones that fasten at the back
the kid next door has been taking the mickey out of her for this and constantly goes on about the size of her bust and how babyish she is for not wearing a " grown " up bra .she is usually resilient, but this is getting her down.
I get on with the lads mother we are not close neighbours but say hello. I just dont know how to approach this and wether to see her first or go up to the school as most of the bullying takes place there. its getting her down quite a bit any suggestions would be appreciated
TIAXX

[zzxxee]

update have spoken to lads mum last night she was not best happy with her son and said she will tell him to lay off, so fingers crossed this will be nipped in the bud and hopefully stop thanks all for the advice once again xx

[annie0000]

Hope it all works out then zzxxee - I know that I would feel just like your neighbour, I wouldn't be best pleased if it was my son and I would read him the riot act! They'll laugh about this when they are married in 10 years time!

[zzxxee]

lol Annie if that happened

[zzxxee]

talking to his mum has not worked she came home from school upset so i phoned school head of year calling tommorow, i have tried to be reasonable,,,,, no more mrs nice guy now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[annie0000]

Hmmm - wee sh!te. if it's anything like what happened in my case, i'd expect frost relations with next door. When my son was bullied at school, we went straight to the school - there were a group of boys involved with 2 main ringleaders and I knew one of the boys parent quite well socially, I went to the school because I suspected it would get into a he said/she said thing. However, when the school called in the parents and they found out who the boys had been bullying, the parents came round to my house and apologised and got the boy too as well. When I was in the playground the nxt day, more of the parents were so apologetic and upset about what had happened and the all said that if anything should happen in the future, please to let them know. Couple of months later I personally witnessed an incident and told them, they didn't want to know, felt I was making it up and they implied that it was my sons fault for being bullied! Safe to say that the next time I went straight to the school and let them deal with it. We don't speak at all anymore. It's not so much that their son is a bully that annoys me, it's the fact that they know he is but are doing nothing to stop it.

I sincerely hope the school deal with it, and I also hope that his mother sorts him out, but i'd be prepared for her denying it and saying that your daughter is making it up.

[mike11111]

Before going to the school I would have contacted the mother again to let her know that her warnings had been ignored and you had no option but to put it in the school's hands. This may well have had the effect of upping the ante and making her redouble her efforts. I know from my expererience as a teacher that there is nothing more a parent hates than being summoned to school to discuss their child's behaviour.

[zzxxee]

thanks for all the answers guys,
i just feel that i have no choice now which is why i have involved the school

[wolfblane77]

i would point out to his mother that this is actually sexual harrassment to a degree and should you decide to "mention" it to your local police he could end up with a caution which will prohibit him for the rest of his life! ie the job he gets and being placed on the sex offenders register(it is possible!) other than that get her to belittle him about the size of his manhood!

[ummmm]

I think you should have given it a bit more time before contacting the school. You spoke to the Mother on Tuesday and contacted the school on Wednesday.

[zzxxee]

thats a route to go down at a later date i think i am going to see what her head of year says when she phones later on this morning

[annie0000]

Personally, I think you have done the right thing - This is happening on school premises and they should be made aware - you can tell them that you have spoken to his mother, but we are talking about the phsycological wellbeing of a vulnerable young girl here and she needs to feel supported by her parent which is exactly what you are doing.

[zzxxee]

update !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well head of year called to say she has had a word with evil child and told him under no circumstances is he to talk or so much as look at my daughter. Tonight whilst walking back from mums evil child and evil childs evil girlfriend shouted insults at my daughter again i dispaire i really do enough is enough now i think visit from police is in order now !!!

[annie0000]

it's so hard to know what to do for the best isn't it? You just want it stopped. Years ago he'd have gotten a boot up the backside from an older male in your circle and that would have done the trick, nowadays you cant even look at them the wrong way and you'd be the one in trouble. The world has gone mad.

[zzxxee]

i feel like clipping the little git round the ear to be honest but as you say those days are long gone x

[DaisyNonna]

Joko
If he tries to touch the bra straps she is at liberty to slap him

[zzxxee]

hes just a nasty little Sugar

[tastymorsel]

Confused as to how he knows what bra she wears? If it is because he sees it on the line then maybe you should buy a couple of normal bras and hang them out

[zzxxee]

because his little girlfriend is in the same p.e class and they all change together so they are in it together

[tastymorsel]

That is such a shame.At our age we would laugh it off and feel sorry for the stupid b@stards that they are but kids take it to heart so much.i feel for your dilemma.Really don't know what the answer is

[zzxxee]

just deal with each day as it comes i think x