Will i be granted a residency order?

[aliciamortimer]

My daughter's father has recently decided he wants contact after nearly 11 months. I'm willing for this to happen and it has already started! But since contact has been arranged, i have found out that he has everything at his mother's house where he lives as if a child is already living there. Cot, buggy, clothes, toys, changing equipment. From what he says there is a proper nursery. When i was pregnant and he was having no contact, i heard from other people that he was planning on getting custody of my daughter. After realising what he has at his house i am now slightly worried. :(

Because of this situation, do you think i would be granted a residency order? If and when he gets parental responsibility, (that is what he now wants) and i very concerned that he will just take my daughter and i really don't think i'd live without her. Please give any advice/help you have!

I am seeing my solicitor this week so also hoping she will help.

[Andyvon]

Why on Earth did you choose this man to be the father of your child Alicia?

[fredpuli47]

Sounds pretty typical, the father making great efforts to satisfy the court that he is able and has the means to accommodate a young child for staying visits.Fathers who've expressed little interest always go over the top when they finally get around to showing some.New everything suddenly appears. That's what's happening here, I bet.

If he thinks he's going to get a custody order he's living in a dream world. It's never going to happen and he'll be told as much by any lawyer he asks, and almost certainly by any father who's been in his situation. Stop making worries for yourself! :)

The court always favours the mother of any young child. You wouldn't believe how poor a mother you'd have to be to lose custody. Even if you were a drug addict the court would try to leave the child with you as the first option, with help and support, but that's academic here. It's only when the mother so utterly incapable that the child is in some real danger of neglect that it will not leave the child with the mother. It certainly isn't impressed by differences in material possessions or size of home, even if the father's offering a gold plated buggy, a mansion and a live-in Norland 'nanny'!

[fredpuli47]

Andyvon, your sense of humour is misplaced.

[ummmm]

Is he on the birth certificate? If he is then he already has parental responsibility.

[zzxxee]

my youngest daughters dad had limited contact as and when he saw fit,
anyway after 12 months of no contact at all i went to a solicitor to change her last name to mine
family solicitor said as there had been no contact for 12 months this was possible
Her birth certificate will always have his last name but legally she has my name,
as for residency im not sure of your circumstances but i am thinking your a good parent, i would think it is highly unlikely.
My daughters dad lost parental responsibility when her change of name deed was signed by solicitor, however there was a history of violence. I should seek the advice of a solicitor.
Its difficult to know what to advise as you dont say reasons you split up
maybe he was just scared and deserves a second chance. The decision is with you really good luck

[aliciamortimer]

Andyvon, maybe you should have asked why i was in this situation instead of being so cruel! I ddn't ask to be left a single mum before i had even given birth. Her father left me and he was the one who wanted no contact, despite how hard i tried to stay in contact with him. I haven't had time for another boyfriend either so my daughter has had no other man in her life!

fredpuli47 and zzxxee thank-you for your comments! Nice to know not everyone judges so badly. I done abit or reading on the internet last night and am now pretty convinced that my daughter will stay living with me no matter what. There is still a worry in the back of my head, but i'm sure all will be abit clearer after seeing my solicitor on thursday. Ummmm, he is not on the birth certificate which i am glad of because at least i am currently the only one with parental responsibility. He really doesn't deserve it yet. He needs to learn to be a father, that's if the novelty doesn't wear off like it did when i was pregnant.

[ummmm]

He doesn't stand a chance of getting her unless you're an unfit parent. Especially as he's had minimal contact.

Could he even be arsed to get parental responsibility? Does he pay maintenance?

[tigwig]

Don't worry hun, like others have said he hasn't a chance. I can only imagine how you feel as I am holding my 10mth old as I struggle to type lol. You are certain to be granted custody and your solicitor will tell you the same.
If he has all the equipment he needs at least your daughter will have the things she needs there too.