3 yr old terrified of pooing.

[happyred]

My 3 yr old son is terrified of doing a poo. He holds it in and holds it in to the point where he's screaming in pain and uncomfortable. It's so terribly distressing, i dread every day knowing he, and myself, will have to go through it. He's never been to poo on the toilet, and have to put nappies on him when i know he needs to go, or he'll just go in his pants. I just don't know what to do. Please help!

[B00]

what to do? For now, nothing.

If he's still wearing nappies, leave him for a few weeks. If he's not ready, he's not ready and you can't force him. All you'll succeed in doing is having a very unhappy little boy.

[redcrx]

so his problem is the toilet seat / potty rather than the act of pooing?

can you not just sit him on the loo or potty when getting ready for bed / around the time of day when he normally goes? just praise him for staying on it even if he doesnt poo on it?

[LoftyLottie]

BOO, I think at three this needs to be addressed. I would agree with you if the child was 2. Unfortunately, this can lead to medical problems because of leakage from the bowel and also I do know a child who had this and in the end had to have psychiatric help about her fear of loos.

[ummmm]

Brings back memories. My son was the same...it was awful. When he did go it was like he was giving birth to it. He's 14 now....still only goes about once a week. Not in pain anymore though.

Doctor checked him for twisted bowels and other stuff but everything came back OK. He then prescribed a numbing cream to put on his bum...

[zzxxee]

has he said why he doesnt like going on the toilet ?

[flobadob]

Our son had the same problem, so much so that he eventually got constipated and we had to get something from the doctor for him. I think in the end up we just tried to get him to do it once or twice a week. However we talked to him about it as well and reminded him of the need to eventually have to use a toilet rather than nappies.

He is 7 now but I think he was 4 before he started to have no problem using it. Clean ups are another issue of course.

[rowanwitch]

children that age can develop very strange ideas... perhaps ... he thinks his insides are coming out.....have you played the sweetcorn Game... child eats sweetcorn and gets a prize when they do a poo with sweetcorn in it...it gets the idea that poo is just old food your body didn't need
not my idea...a friend came up with that one....daughter wanted to do loads of poo after that..

[redcrx]

rowan that is a good idea, make a game out of it. and sweetcorn also helps loosen the bowels too

[grasscarp]

I would go to the doctor. My child had this seeming unwillingness to go and a quick check found that she had an anal fissure that was causing pain. Once this was healed up no further problem. This may well be physical rather than physchological.

[MrIncredible]

Has he got his own toilet seat? maybe a special shopping trip where he can choose his own, make it into little adventure, there some really funky one's, character based one's.
hopefully he might want to go home and try his new seat out?


sometime's after a vindaloo i'm a bit scared of pooing too! (and i have been doing it for years on a toilet!)

Good Luck :0)

[Le Chat]

My eldest son, who is now 14 had this problem when he was little and it reoccured until he was about 7 yrs old. It's quite common in boys but it can end up ruling a parent's life!! It has a clinical name which is 'encopresis.' It starts because for one reason or another your son doesn't like having a poo and is too young to know that he must have one or he'll be ill and blocked...so he thinks if he holds it in then he'll never have to have one again. What happens is that it does find away out and then obviously smears on underpants etc on a very regular basis or becomes hard and hurts! The pressure can then numb the nerves in the anus, so then he doesn' t actually feel that he needs to go anymore!! i found that the doctor did not take it very seriously, whilst I was tearing my hair out. After much research on the internet, I decided that as it was going to worm it's way out into his undies, then if I gave him a laxative, then he would have to get to a loo at some stage because he wouldn't be able to hold it back...the feeling would be too strong. I gave him lactulose, which is fine for kids. 2 teaspoons twoce a day...and it worked. Once he got into a regular pattern, the cycle was broken. He had some reoccurences but I just did the lactulose trick. I can tell you that it is a damn nightmare and the whole day was dictated by pooing or not pooing!! The laxative really does work. Good luck! x

[numnum]

my eldest was like that when potty training. she'd lie on the floor with her legs in the air for hours till it had to come out but it was always a scene when it happened

then when she showed the signs of needing i'd say right time to poo, put her on the toilet then if nothing happened or she got in a state i'd take her down then she'd get in the position again with her legs in the air and i'd say its time to poo and go through that each time. after a 4 or 5 days her fear went and she was quite happy to poo and then look at what she'd done

it was horrible though watching her