I'm All Sorted

[Tilly2]

The dinner's in the oven,I have Neil Young playing on my headphones and a glass of white wine spritzer on my right hand side. All I need now, is an amusing post, to keep me occupied for the next forty minutes.
Can someone start one, please?

[shoota]

Isnot this it?

[Psybbo]

Tilly, I knew I could rely on you. Shoota'll be along in a minute

[Tilly2]

Shoota got there first, sibs.

[gness]

Hmmmm...and just how does Psyb know what Shoota's intentions are?....☻

[Psybbo]

Damn, he beat me to it! Shoota, give Mamyalynne back her elbows

[EcclesCake]

This made me laugh...


Alex Salmond was visiting a Scottish primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr. Salmond if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.
So the illustrious SNP leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.
A little boy stood up and offered, "If ma best freen, wha’ lives on a ferm, is playin' in the field and a tractor rins ower him and kills him, that wid be a tragedy."
"Incorrect", said Alex, in his best trying-not-to-sound-too- patronising-Scottish-accent, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand, "If a school bus kerryin' fifty children drove ow’r a cliff, killing a'body inside, that wid be a tragedy"
'I'm afraid not', explained Alex, "that's what we would refer to as a great loss’’.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Alex searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a wee lad raised his hand and, in a quiet voice, said: "If a plane kerryin' you and your deputy ' wiz struck by a 'freendly fire' missile & blawn tae smithereens, that wid be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Alex, "and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Weel", says the lad, "it has tae be a tragedy, because it certainly widnae be a great loss, and it probably widnae be an accident either!"

[Psybbo]

He's so predictable, Gness

[gness]

That's your story, Psyb....☻

Me too Eccles....wonderful....☺☺

[shoota]

Predictable?



Elbows - but they're keeping me warm Psyb.

[shoota]

Can we talk about swallows?

[Tilly2]

Blimey, Eccles. That must have been hard to type with all that accent stuff. It made me laugh too. Thanks.

[Tilly2]

I'd rather talk about ospreys, shoota.

[shoota]

I want to know where they are.
Two years ago I gave up counting swallows on a telephone wire when I got to 200.
Last year we were worried at counting only 60/70.
This year..........







Three (3, trois, tres, drei etc..

[Tilly2]

I blame the Maltesers!

[shoota]

Do they trap swallows on Malta then?

[Tilly2]

I think they shoot them, shoota. I might be wrong.........

[Tilly2]

No I'm not wrong. They shoot anything that flies.

[tonyav]

I've seen a pair of thrushes today.

[Tilly2]

That's good news, Yont.

[Tilly2]

'Blue blue windows behind the'................. what?

Helpless.