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janet_co22 | 12:01 Thu 05th Sep 2002 | Food & Drink
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What's the quickest way to get drunk?
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getting drunk is a process of absorbing alcohol into the bloodstream,therefore try simply injecting directly! seriously ,simply enjoy the process!
The body has to warm alcohol to body temperature before absorption can begin, so you could try drinking slightly warmed spirits, such as whisky or vodka. Food in the stomach also delays the absorption process, so drink on an empty stomach to speed thing up. If you are unsure of your toleration levels, ensure you have a sober friend on hand to 'baby sit' for you and keep you out of harm's way.
I've always found going to the pub with my friend Carol does the trick. Enjoy!
Use a straw to suck either beer or spirits instead of drinking. The alcohol is directly absorbed into the bloodstream from your palate and the back of your mouth and thence directly to the brain. It's no fun tho'
turn the can upside down and pierce the bottom of it and then proceed to drink the beer that way bet ye will be drunk very quickly
mean't to state you just pierce a wee hole in the bottom of it with a compass or something don't remove the either bottom of the can
The quickest way is the "Yuppie lunch", pioneered in the eighties by surprisingly, stockbrockers who wanted to get drunk on their lunch hour but had to go back to work sober.Warning,this is fine as a one off, but do not do more than one and do not do it on a regulr basis. Pour straight Vodka onto a teaspoon and snort it directly up your nose.The alcohol buypasses the bloodstream and is absorbed through your nasal membrane and goes directly into your brain.The result is instant drunkness the equevelent of which is downing 10-15 shots.It only lasts for five minutes,but can give a headache and sneezing fits.Oh and it dosn't work if you have a cold, but at least you can drive.
Have a few shots of Aftershock and that should get you going pretty quickly!
as well as the yuppie lunch, you can also absorb alcohol quickly through the tissues of the eye, apparently theres a knack to it. But don't inject alcohol into your bloodstream, it can kill you.
Lager, then red wine, followed by lager followed by wine. Drink them as quickly as poss! And repeat if necessary (which I doubt)

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