It does seem to be a complicated story, I wonder if this is one of those family secrets that was surrounded in half truths and vague information to avoid upset. There is not enough info to go on really if the death was not registered in England & Wales nor Scotland, there may be a chance of finding the marriage of Robert and his wife, that would give you alot of info on Robert as the Scottish marriage certificates are far more packed with info than the English ones. I am still wondering if this was a wartime death actually.