Anyone else have their other half in the forces?

[CAJ1]

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone else on here is married to/with someone who is in the forces?

I've searched the forums on the internet but think it would be good to utilise AB's military section.

It would be good to make use of this section and talk to each other about them going on tour etc and how you manage.

Hope to see some posts below as Ed is threatening a cull on this section as it is not used!

[dotty.]

I married an RAF JT back in 1978, he had been in 9 years when we married and complete his 12 6 months before the argies landed on port stanley, otherwise out lives would have been vastly different as his squadron went to ascension. I haven't experienced being left at home with hubby on active duty except when he went on Mountain Rescue call outs, that was bad enough knowing he was risking his life in the hills looking for SAS officers trying to prove a point,

[CAJ1]

Thanks for the reply dotty! His timing worked out well then :)

My OH is in the RAF and hopefully leaving in 2013 because of the cuts, which I'm pleased about because we're marrying next year and probably going to have children afterwards which I'd like him to be around for and not missing out on chunks of their lives. I also wouldn't want to have to move them around from one place to another on a regular basis or have to tell them the dreaded news I'm sure a lot of Mums have to tell their children.

I know when I got involved with him that he would have to go away from time to time but it is so hard :(

[dotty.]

Well the one good thing was that we got a house and every single thing you needed to furnish it! And if I broke anything I could take it to the supply place and get a new one. It was great at the time. Not sure how it works now though. The 3 piece suite was a back breaker though lol

[CAJ1]

lol, it can have its benefits! We should have thought about getting a place on camp and being able to take broken items to be replaced because I am very clumsy!

We live off camp because his hometown is only 20 miles away which is handy. I don't think either of us could cope living on camp 24/7

[milly143]

It's slightly different for me as it was my Dad who was in the RAF but from a childs perspective, I can't say it has had any real effect on us. He would be posted away for usually 3 months at a time, which would sometimes be extended while he was there. Usually to The Falklands, Italy or Bahrain and we would obviously all stay at home with Mum. The only time it was difficult for us was when he was away over xmas or your birthday. In terms of moving around, I was quite lucky as we moved a few times when I was very young but our final move was whilst I was in my first year of school. We moved to RAF High Wycombe and stayed there until he retired, then stayed in the general area since then so I've got fairly solid grounds but I do feel for my older siblings. They were moved around so much, sometimes to other countries that their education was a bit screwed up. Although things might have improved since those days.
One of the things I do remember of his time in the RAF with good memories is sending blueys to him when he was away. There was a rule in his section that the person who received the most blueys in one weeks would have to buy the drinks in the bar for the night for everyone else. Knowing this, we used to write out letters out, one word per bluey. Between 7 kids and a wife, that works out to be quite a lot of blueys. He's kept a lot of them because they're probably the most heart felt things he will ever receive. It was also fun being a RAF brat. There were so many functions in the mess's, I remember it as a really good time.

[CAJ1]

Sounds like your experience was a good one Milly. My uncle was in the RAF when I was younger and I remember thinking it was so cool that he was off flying planes in other countries lol! Its good that you weren't affected too much by the moving around too, I'd hate for my kids to have to do that.

I like the blueys too, I sent at least one a week to my other half last time he was away in Iraq and both of us have kept all of the letters. They say some of the nicest things ever! Its strange that even though we both have email and he is authorised to use it, we still send blueys! I used to pick mine up off the doormat when I got in from work and keep it to read after my dinner as a treat. Sending parcels is good too until you get to month 3 and you run out of ideas of what to put in there lol!

[milly143]

I agree. Although e-mail wasn't invented when he was in the RAF. But there is definitely something special about receiving a hand written letter from a loved one then a bit of Times New Roman on a screen. Especially in those circumstances.

[vulcan]

CAJ1, I served in the RAF and was interested in your line " I don't think either of could cope living on camp 24/7". Unless things have changed dramatically since I left, I think you would find that what you have asked for on this site would take place on the stations. I always found stations to be a closely knit communities and there was always somebody who was willing to talk and help when the OH was sent elsewhere sometimes at a moments notice.

[CAJ1]

Thats true Vulcan, they do run meetings for partners left at home and obviously there are others there who are in the same situation. I would probably go if we lived on a camp but as we live off camp I can't get on unless accompanied by my OH. I do have a welfare officer assigned to me though so if I have any problems while away I can contact them.

I meant I don't think he would like living at his place of work 24/7 and I don't think I would like it as it seems like a village in a world of its own. You could almost live there and not be aware of the outside world!

[anneasquith]

hi CAJ. glad you found the topic. and i hope it gets lots of posts..

[dotty.]

Gawd the wives were a nightmare, half of them were Scottish and I couldn't understand them, they were all mums with gangs of kids and I wasn't, they also never seemed to work or think about work whereas I had a better job than most of their husbands, which they all seemed to be jealous of, they also had no fashion sense and lived in ski pants and tartan shirts. Sorry it was the late 70s lol

[CAJ1]

Hi anneasquith, me too and I hope so! I will definitly post in here from now on :)

lol dotty, I've never really met any of them as I'm only ever on camp for a flying visit when my OH gets called in at weekends and I happen to be with him! Met a few from his section at the xmas do and they seemed nice. I wonder if they were jealous of you because they were bored and fed up of being at home with the kids while their husbands were working away whereas you had a job, your own money and no kids.

[dotty.]

Maybe, but they were all ugly as a clog back as they used to say and probably had no idea there was a world beyond their own little bubble

[CAJ1]

I get the impression a lot of people who live on camp are in their own bubble and don't really interact with the outside world. A lot don't seem to know what to do with themselves once their employment there has ended and they are put out into the world. Another reason why I wouldn't want to live on camp!

[dotty.]

It was the opposite for me, I worked in a high end store in a city and was a WAG before they ever had them and so the world of the service wife living in a married quarter and having to have an ID card just to drive onto the camp was quite strange, that's where the laundrette was for gawd sake!

[CAJ1]

I definitly think I would have to be like you to do it and make sure I had a job off camp to survive dotty. lol, bit like Eastenders where no one has a washing machine?

[dotty.]

back then they provided a cooker and a fridge but not a washing machine, maybe they provide them now, it was 6 months before we bought one and so i had to use the laundrette across on camp, that was an enlightening experience

[CAJ1]

lol, gave you a proper insight into camp life I'm sure!

[joe_s_angel]

Hi CAJ1

I am new to this website, as i am to the military-love dilemma. I have met my soldier just recently, and he is going on his trip soon ((((( I am trying to comfort him as much as i can. But since you have been there before can you tell me the answer to this tiring question please. How can you make sure that your messages, or mails, or even thoughts about you don't distract him? he has been telling me that he is a good soldier, always focused and all that..... But you know, when you have something on your mind, you have something on your mind..... specially that it is all recent and our feelings are oncreasing by the hour...

Thank you peer :)