The things you can get on the NHS these days....

[Bbbananas]

I have just referred a fella for prostatic massage to our local hospital.

I thought there were special 'parlours' and 'salons' for that sort of thing where the men had to fork out of their own pockets. Yet the NHS, strapped for cash as it is, provides this sort of service for free.

Queue up now Lads...

[China Doll]

It's very good for getting semen out of patients with no erectile function due to paralysis.

[rinkins]

No way! I'm shocked!

[zzxxee]

i watched a programme on this and in holland their health sevice pays for sex workers to cater for disabled clients

[Bbbananas]

Would it go stale otherwise?
Poor patients with paralysis... as if it's not bad enough being paralysed, you can't even get any pleasure out of a nurse sticking her finger up your bum and massaging your prostate. It's suposed to be a very nice experience so I've heard....

[Bbbananas]

It's not actually for sexual pleasure rinkins, not on the NHS. It is for the purpose that China describes.

[redman41]

Don't fancy a mans finger up my bum, salla ! Was he having difficulty with his John Thomas ? lol

[Bbbananas]

Actually, he is in a wheelchair.
I feel really bad now :-(

[snags]

''It's very good for getting semen out of patients with no erectile function due to paralysis.''

Yeah... China's a dab hand at it...

[rinkins]

I kinda guessed, but even so I had no idea that sort of thing even existed. Poor bloke.

[China Doll]

It's rarely a nurse that does it too... Sorry fellas... ;0)

[jake-the-peg]

So who is it that does it??!!!?

And what do they put on their passport under occupation?

[Bbbananas]

the person that's going to do it for my man is a 6' 4" buckfummad of a consultant from Egypt.

Maybe you wouldn't really fancy it then snags?
I would bet my bottom (!) dollar though, that sqad woud.....

[ummmm]

You can get body lice on the NHS....Even if you didn't ask for them.

[daffy654]

I would imagine the procedure is performed by a proctologist,so that is what their occupation would be listed as jake.

[Bbbananas]

ummm - I like that one.

It really is amazing what you can get on the NHS, as I said.
Some people get MRSA. Or even a flesh-eating disease.

[snags]

''Maybe you wouldn't really fancy it then snags?''

It was ok the first dozen or so times but I'm not sure I'd do it again...

[jake-the-peg]

And how do you learn how to do it?

Does the day come round at medical school where the lecturer says "Right now everybody find a partner?....."

[Bbbananas]

Ooh yes - so long as I could be the recipient.

(Oh - hang on - I don't have a prostate. Bummer :-(

[China Doll]

An Andrologist can do it.

[ummmm]

Just like to add....it wasn't me that got them....