Am I Destined To Be My Aunts Caretaker?

[Cindy1302]

My 68 year old aunt who has trouble walking moved in with me a couple of months ago. She doesn't need a wheelchair or anything I dont think, but she's fallen 5 times since we moved in, busting her lip open once, and hurting her neck. I obviously go and help her up. I'm not just gonna leave her on the floor all day, but I'm getting kind of fed up with it, and so is she. She started crying yesterday, and said she's afraid she's too much for me. Well, I'm afraid it's going to get worse, and she'll require more intensive care, and I can't even care for myself that well. Do you think im morally obligated to care for her? If I have to, I'd make sure she gets to a home that will take care of her, but I just don't think I'm equipped to care for her.

[barry1010]

If you don't want to, it will be wrong for both of you if you do. You will both be utterly miserable and resentful.

On top of that you will be exhausted and she will be fearful.

Time to start investigating alternatives 

[calmck]

First Why is your aunt falling? She needs a medical evaluation.

Does she have a cane or walker. Does she have problems with her feet. Is she on mdication. We cannot give advice without more information

[Cindy1302]

Her dr says it's just old age. I bought her a Cane today. She's on a lot of meds. I just dont know what.

[calmck]

You and your parents need to find out what medication she is on. Something could be making her fall. 

[calmck]

You and your parents need to discuss what is best for you and your aunt and why you should be the caretaker. Do you work? Who is with her when you are not. Given your previous " should I report " posts I need to know if this is a true situation or just a "fake" post before I offer any more advise

[Cindy1302]

Im currently unemployed. No one is with her when I'm not. Her insurance would cover someone to come and check on her when I'm gone, especially when I go out of town. Without sounding self absorbed, I don't really think she'd manage without me around.

[seekeerz]

Why did she move in with you in the first place ?

[1ozzy]

So Cindy has something to post about🤔🙄

[barry1010]

68 is not really elderly unless a person is in poor health. It is not normal for a 68 year old woman to fall - there is a medical reason for it.

How does she manage to get back up? It is not easy getting someone up off the floor after a fall.  I've had to call the ambulance service a few times to get a fallen relative up.

What country are you in? That's excellent insurance your aunt has. 

 

[DDIL]

Its not normal for a 68 year old to fall so much, further investigation is needed.

In an earlier question you stated you had moved in together so you must have been aware of your aunts condition then.

I know you are in the USA (you have said in previous questions) so the medical side is dealt with very differently to the UK.

You really have to decide what you want to do, you say you are currently unemployed - perhaps you can use the time to get your aunt sorted and then go back to work?

[douglas9401]

Have you tried reporting her for becoming a trip hazard when she falls?

That might get some action from authorities.

[Sophia09]

Something you and parents need to chat about and see what needs to be done. 

[Cindy1302]

DDIL, my aunt doesn't want to do anything about it. I mentioned her getting one of those life alert necklaces she can press when she falls, and then an ambulance will come to help her, but she didn't seem interested. I also said she might need a caretaker or someone to come and help, and check on her, but she didn't seem interested in that either.