Iwant To Make My Wishes About End Of My...
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Since, over the last ten years or so, there's been a prolifieration of lawyer jokes, the term, here in the U.S., is seen as somewhat derogatory so those in the profession prefer the term attorney. Example...
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The Term Lawyer has been mainly adopted by the Americans - they don't have a barrister system like the English - their "solicitors" represent and speak in court.
In England it's different- A solicitor instructs a Barrister usually in a serious case or where speciality is needed. Nearly all Crown court cases are presented by Barristers. - there should be no contact directly between Barrister and Client. Cases heard in Magistrates courts are nearly always presented by the solicitor. It's all about rights of audience etc Oh yes - and also how much a defendant is willing to pay !!!
In England it's different- A solicitor instructs a Barrister usually in a serious case or where speciality is needed. Nearly all Crown court cases are presented by Barristers. - there should be no contact directly between Barrister and Client. Cases heard in Magistrates courts are nearly always presented by the solicitor. It's all about rights of audience etc Oh yes - and also how much a defendant is willing to pay !!!
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