What to put in margerine as revenge?

[fo3nix]

I'm currently in a flat at uni and share a kitchen. Someone (I know who) is stealing everyone's food, and doesn't care. As such, I want to get revenge.

We've tried reporting him and asking him nicely not to, but he won't stop.

One of the things he's often taking is my margerine (and leaving all his little bits of toast at the top too); what can I put in it to stop him from doing it again and teach him a lesson?

I thought about a laxative, but that's mostly bright colours. What would fit well in with Flora?

(We got the idea because a friend of ours did the same to his ketchup -- using super hot chilli sauce.)

[Paulst30]

Sorry to hear of your trauma and being scottish i often think up bizzare ways to get revenge so i hope you have a pen n pad handy lol

When he sleeps, put imac gel on the crown of his head to show a nice balding spot, the imac will soak in and it will just look like his hair fell out.

Get him a beer and pour the neck out and fill it with a liquid laxative then watch him run to the hills lol.

Glue the Margarine lid on so he cant get to it hahah

Put pubic hair in the butter and say that you love hairy butter and then he'll get the message.

Put 3 Nytol tablets in his dinner while its cooking, like a curry or something then just laugh at him while he nods off trying to watch that all important footy match.

Or do what we do in Glasgow, if you catch him, break his jaw off the kitchen worktop, works everytime, no-one touches our food no way!!!

[joko]

i would niot advise any kind of medication - he may be taking something that will react that you are unaware of

also what if he then went out driving? or drinking?

stick to icky food

stir in loads of salt or sugar, no colour

scoop it all out and put lard in its place

stir in chilli oil.

[Paulst30]

Yeah a blame joko when your buddy dies of a massive coronary after the loads of salt lol

Nah seriously its supposed to be a prank, so lets help this guy out.

swap goats cheese with the butter and he'll get a fousty taste.

[markja]

re wrap a bar of ex-lax chocolate and leave it in the fridge.

get the food thats his and throw it on the floor of his room next time he leaves his door open.

put epsom salts in the milk.

take all the food out the cupboards and store it in your room for a while. and keep nicking his food.

is it a uni flat ? 'cos if it is get the building supervisor to boll*ck him in front of everyone that uses the kitchen and explain if he does it again he will be kicked out.

make pals with the uni rugby team and ask them to politely encorage him to mend his ways??? no violence just a friendly game of rugger whilst chatting!!

any over indulgence with alcohol could result in a chunder in his bed. (tell him you've had all the rest of my grub !! )


frying pan in the face?? oh ! that was tom and jerry.

uni is hard enough without sh*ts making it harder.
good luck.

anything you do though make sure you all have alibis for each other so he can't report you.

[Peter Pedant]

yes a party pooper writes:

this is called poisoning someone

definitely against the law
admininstering a noxious thing with inntent to cause injury
immediately springs to mind

Put the washing up in his bed

or womehting.

[Random Hero]

mix up some mustard and mayo into the right colour and then mix that up with the flora... then do ur best to make the swirly splat shape like it originally comes in lmao. good old english mustand, will anihilate his nose on toast first thing in a morning =p

[Romeo]

Swap the tub of margarine for one that contains a plastic scorpion.

[Panic Button]

Fill an empty margarine tub with water.

[RATTER15]

Is murder too severe?

I think I might have to consider it if someone touches my food!!!!!

[fo3nix]

Thanks all for answers!

Peter et. al. -- I'm not trying to cause any injury and really it's just a joke. We've been discussing what we could do and so thought I'd ask here too.

If he had any food in the kitchen then I'd use his, but he doesn't have anything in the kitchen, because he uses others'.

Perhaps also worth noting is that it has my name on it, so he knows it isn't his. Also, his door is locked and I don't even know the guy; just an idiot on my floor.

[Paulst30]

Even better if you dont know him cause then you have grounds for kicking his ass!!

Hate leeching ******* like this guy, ohh makes my blood boil. I hope his next dump is a hedgehog breach!!!

[mightywease]

This make take a while but but keep a tub of ther margarine in your room until it has a nice covering of mould in it then put it back in the fridge as if it's a fresh one (with your name on it and everything)

Meanwhile put your marg into another container like a plain plastic box which he hopefully may not notice for a while.

Or - similar to the scorpion one - a nice plastic spider to greet him when he opens up the tub!

[Gef]

Take your tub of margarine and plaster it all over the handle of his door. Childish I know but he might get the message everytime he has to wipe it off.

[mibn2cweus]

Maybe instead of your real name try another name like

Jeffrey Dahmer aka I bite!

or maybe even a message

[filthiestfis]

I too had this problem during my first year of university with a bunch of idiots at the apartment. I knoew which one it was but he never owned up to it, the coward. In the end what I did was I didnt tell anyone on the day I was leaving, I got up really early while everyone was still in bed, and raided the cupboards and stuck lots of food in my suitcase. Quite frankly I dont know if they belonged to him or not but it didnt matter as they would have some explaining to do with each other once I was gone ;)

[freak_unique]

OMG he sounds exactly like my housemate! And my housemate is supposed to be a friend and does this to us!!! ME and my bestmate do a big shop, and he spends about a fiver a week on food!-PATHETIC! Because he doesnt want to spend any money on food because he wants to spend it ALL on drink! So yeah we were losing out on this deal...id buy maramlade, use it twice- itd be empty, my butter would be empty and back in the fridge with nothing in it after me using it about twice, drank all my fizzy drinks, fruit juice, squash. In the end the final straw came - he ate a birthday cake out of the freezer that I had in there for my friends birthday!!!! Hed ate it frozen, every last piece, when he was drunk, claimed not to remember...it all blew up then and nothings really been touched since!
I know you shouldnt have to live like this but put all your stuff in your room, get one of those mini fridges and thats a big f**k you to him!
God it makes me so annoyed hearing this there always has to be someone to ruin it for everyone...infact its making me angry again just thinking about my poor excuse for a housemate!
How about, everybody spit in the milk or even add yogurt to him for a super nasty suprise! Snot in the butter...and finally couldnt you get everyone who shares ur kitchen together and to complain and confront him. Let us know what happens!
good luck you shouldnt have to put up with this!

[fo3nix]

We have made a formal complaint with the college Dean (it's getting to a large amount of cash now -- 6 or 7 of us have had stuff taken, totally about �10 each), so it's theft. We're seeing what happens.

Also, I would get a mini fridge but I finish in 6 weeks so not much point -- and I'm moving into a proper flat so this won't happen again.

[Dagman]

Hasn't he anything that you all can take, not necessarily food, but if he complains say it's in payment of all he's taken. You say it's a joke but so far he's the one laughing, even friends should know where to draw the line. On the last day you're all together you could book a table at a restaurant in his name, set him up to think you're all paying, get him to arrive, phone his mobile you'll all be late and telling him to put his order in. Then simply dont turn up, go for a meal with your good friends elsewhere. Do tell him later though!

[Bob A Job]

Rather than get him back with food,
Why not get all of your room mates to 'Borrow' his clothes and just leave him a dress hanging in the wardrobe.

He'll get the idea.

[joko]

i don't mind the occasional drop of milk or knob of butter, or teabag - i would not mind my housemates doing that - but only when they have just run out - not because they haven't bothered to buy any in the first place.
i also have on odd occasions borrowed stuff like this myself.

however, write a professional looking letter, telling him he has won something - a trolley dash or a hamper and he must go quite a distance to pick it up.