Partner moving in

[daisy2]

I want to get the equivalent of a pre-nup drawn up. My partner is moving in and I want it to be legally binding that he will have no claim on the house if we split up. (Hopefully not!) The house and mortgage are in my name and I will continue to pay the bills/mortgage on the house when he moves in for a trial period - he will pay me board. Of coure we will review this in the future - just playing it safe! He has agreed to it. What's it called, where do I get one and any ideas on cost? Thanks!

[Sylday]

You seem to misunderstand what a pre-nuptial agreement is. It is an agreement drawn up between a couple, before they get married. Since, you're not contemplating marriage at this stage, there can be no pre-nuptial agreement. What might be best in your situation would be for your partner simply to become your tenant, with a suitable written tenancy agreement. There is info on such an agreement - and you can buy a form for �19.50 - at the following website - http://www.netlawman.co.uk/htbt/tenancy-agreements.php

[New Forester]

Sylday - Daisy did say the "equivalent" of a pre-nup, not an actual one. I'm not sure a tenancy will necessarily help, if the couple are living as partners. Is this not the basis of "palimony" claims? I suggest talking to a solicitor. A short consultation will not be expensive, and even drawing up a standard agreement ought not to be too bad.

[Sylday]

I apologise. I misread your question, and now see you said the equivalent of a pre-nup. Nevertheless, I don't think you need such a thing. The point about a prenuptial agreement is that marriage gives each spouse certain rights, which the agreement tries to clearly define or avoid. Living together doesn't provide such rights, apart from possible problems about property, tenancy etc, which you have identified. As previously, a formal tenancy agreement would probably be sufficient for you.

[sft42]

Sylday is wrong in assuming that living together doesn't allow a partner to have rights...in this day and age it does since many more people choose to live in this manner that after a while a court can assume a couple status to be similar to a marriage (though obviously not as legally binding).....The best route in your situation is to simply draw up both your thoughts on a draft proposal and then take then to your solicitor...he will advise you if anything is unreasonable or unworkable and adjust to suit but any agreement between two parties which is made without duress can be considered a legally binding contract so if your both happy with your arrangment as it stand there is nothing to stop you writing it down on paper and then signing it and using that as the basis for your ad-hoc pre-nup as it were.

[rinkytink]

Ahhh...who says romance is dead.

[secretspirit]

I think the question's pretty much been answered but I just wanted to say I think it's a really good idea and it's a shame more people don't think about setting up agreements so everyone knows where they stand.

[el duerino]

ah romance. well from my limited knowledge the fact that he contributes nothing towards the upkeep of the house or its mortgage will mean he is not entitled to a share, however with the pitfalls of the current legal system its probably best to set up an agreement.

[daisy2]

It's not a question of romance I am afraid. My ex partner left me penniless and with a 9 month baby. I have worked extremely hard to buy and maintain my own house and to be financially independent. I have also learned how quickly a relationship can dissolve from loving and supportive to destructive and antagonistic once the split has happened and the assets start to be divided up. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive.I am protecting the interests of my son who I have a responsibility to provide for. If the unthinkable happened and my partner and I split up - he could claim up to 50% of the house. This would leave me unable to pay for a mortgage on my own or provide for my son. The law regarding cohabitation is shaky and Citizens Advice, etc. recommend a cohabitation contract that outlines who will get what in the unfortunate case of a split. We are not talking CDs and the pet dog here - we are talking nearly 100k. Have a look here http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/family /fli_cohabit.html Thanks for all your response here!

[undercovers]

well if he is paying you board as you call it, another person would call it paying a mortgage contribution if he is also splitting the bills then he is probably maintaining the house to some extent soooo if this present situation goes on for 5 years say he will have a legitimate claim on some of the house... it seems quite right and obvious that he should surely as if the relationship fails after 5 years you would keep a house that he has helped pay for and he would be seriously out of pocket and homeless... quick lock the doors (its over dave - i mean it get away from my HOUSE you evil house stealer you)

[Oneeyedvic]

I say this purely as a thought so please do not take it personally. If the fact you are going in to a relationship knowing that if the worst comes to the worst, you can throw him / her out and they will not ahve any rights to your house - does that mean that you may not be as inclined to work on the relationship. As a for instance a colleague of mine inherited around �40,000. when her mother died. She will not use this money to pay off their mortgage as she sees the money as hers. It also means that if they do split up he will still have to pay the mortgage (they have 2 kids) and she will still have her nest egg. She feels that if the mortgage is paid off, he will not have to contribute very much. I think this is really bad as if things do start going bad, instead of working on the realtionship, she can just say well i've got �40k, I'm off with the kids!

[undercovers]

if you do not trust the individual you plan to live with, i see no point in continuing. I hope he wins the lottery and returns the favour

[stressed out]

I agree with some of the others' answers here, if you can't trust someone how can you love them and let them live in your home? Sounds to me you are talking about him a s if he was a lodger, but i can understand that in this day and age you have to be careful because when relationships between partner' end they can become quite ruthless and unreasonable as happened to a friend of mine! I am in a similar dilema to yours, my partner and i have a baby together and when i got my flat he moved in because he had moved out of his place,(financial difficulties) and also we wanted to be with each other and have a fresh start and bring our baby up together, we found though that we had a lot of rows, as couples do when they're in each others faces 24/7! He has said to me that if we get married he wants me to sign a pre-nup so that i don't have possession of anything of his, I thought; what a cheek! Mostly because he does'nt have many belongings, mainly his clothes and personal items! Why would i want them?! But really i would like to do something to ensure that if we ever parted ways that he could'nt take anything of value from me or ruin my life, is there any way i could do this without offending him?

[Kev_UK]

Firstly, a pre-nup agreement is NOT legal in the UK, and as already mentioned if a relationship (living together as if married) lasts for a period of time, then he/she can claim a proportion of the estate. The 50/50 split thing is something you hear about in pubs and is not always the case. If someone living with you paid for double glazing to be fitted, then they would have a claim, regardless of time spent there. It isn't a matter of trust, you can trust someone now.. but can you trust them in 2 years, 5 years ??? Nobody wants to end up homeless.. myself included. I'd been paying the mortgage for about 19 years before my 2nd marriage, and continue to pay it solely, even though I've been married just over a year now. It would not be fair for someone to marry me and profit out of it, whether done intentionaly or not.

[akaceefax]

Estate agencies have agreements that both of you can sign saying that in the event of a break up the house will be divided up according to how much has been paid by either party. This means that if he contributes nothing the u have sole ownership of the house. However, If you live with someone for more than, i think, 5 years you become common law partners in which case he gets spousal rights. I think the agreement is still valid if common law status is given.

[daisy2]

I do trust and love him...but I loved and trusted my ex and he ran off with another woman, all our savings, the contents of the house and then tried to get custody of my 9 month son and our home! We had been together four years, lived together for three and had a child! To all intents and purposes, we were very in love - until my son came along and things broke down. I'm afraid it's once bitten twice shy. I am to old and wise for romantic ideals that you are together forever and any split will be amicable and fair; it's not the way it works. When you have children, you have a resposibility to them to safeguard their wellbeing - and this includes not having to sell their home or face financial hardship if a realtionship breaks down. I cannot risk losing my home - and more importantly my son's home in the event of a split. It's cynical, pessimistic and doomladen - but it's also realistic.Incidentally, we intend to buy a house together eventually - and of course everything then will be 50/50. And as soon as my partner contributes to the mortgage and bills, we will redo an agreement that states his 50/50 contribution from that point. Fingers crossed though that we have a long and happy relationship and it never comes to that.