politeness

[didappointed]

When I was at school we were always told to be polite in both behaviour and speech. Why do most people always mention themselves first like in : me and husband, me and so and so. It sounds a lot nicer if people would say things the other way round like: my husband and I, so and so and I. etc. Don't they teach these things at school now?

[Buenchico]

Me an my mates like, when woz at skool like, woz alwez tort that english is an evulving langwidge like. So we wuz tort that it dont marrer wot you sez cos it orl meens the same enyway innit?

[Buenchico]

Er, sorry about that ;-)

Anyway, according to Fowler both you and the Queen are also incorrect. (It should be "My husband and me . . .", not "My husband and I . . .").

Chris

[shaunzy]

LOL i understand what you mean, my mam always said it was more polite to say my friend and i, rather than, me and my friend.
Its been a while since i was at school, as i'm 24 now but we were never taught to say it that way, so i guess schools dont think it matters these days

[CrazyCathy]

I was always taught

My husband and I are going

and give this to my husband and me

Teachers don't have time to teach this now they are too busy hitting their targets

[clio57]

Isn't it also that teachers and parents don't have a full grasp of the English language and therefore it changes with each generation.

Wouldn't want to go back to language/behaviour as in Pride and Prejudice etc.

[Buenchico]

It might be unwise, Clio, to look to classic literature for the correct use of the English language. Dickens couldn't even use correct English in the titles of his books (c.f. "Our Mutual Friend").

Chris

[TCL-MUMPING]

Why should the Queen say "..and me"?

[abstibus]

Would people who say, 'Me and my husband are going out.' say 'Me is going out?' Only if they were 3 years old, methinks.
Would people who say 'They gave it to my husband and I' say, 'They gave it to I'?
Simple, really.

[nightmare]

annemollie is correct.
In each case, put yourself after the other person(s) ,and imagine whether you would say "I" or "me" if the other person(s) were not there.

Simple.

[saxy_jag]

Nightmare, that's the way I was always taught, with the other person always going first out of politeness. Whether or not the Queen is correct in 'my husband and I' would depend very much on what follows it.

'My husband and I ... wish to thank you for your gift' is correct.

'The kindness shown to my husband and I' is incorrect.

And didappointed, no I don't think they do teach them at most schools, probably because most teachers don't have a clue themselves.

[sophie_1003]

I was always taught 'my friend and I' by teachers but I hate the way it sounds! Would prefer to say 'my friend and me' but must admit I would usually say the impolite 'me and my friend', I must be rather ego-centric. Always put my name last if writing a groups names on presentations at uni though! I probably wouldn't correct a child at school if they used the 'impolite' version but always, always insist on please, thankyou, sorry and excuse me!