Flirty Teacher?

[Smowball]

There's probably absolutely nothing in it but me probably being over aware- I was reading online yesterday about yet another female teacher in court accused of seducing and sleeping with an underage pupil - i think he was 15 yrs old. About 30 minutes later teen smow came in and said "something really weird happened in last lesson". He then told me that he'd got to last lesson early and was only pupil there. The teachers assistant was there and said something along the lines of how he'd turned out to be a good looking young man. He got all embarrassed and started saying oh he didn't want to get any taller (he's 6ft 3 now!) and she said oh yes keep growing as I like my men really tall and she winked at him! Don't you think that's a bit odd?

[Peter Pedant]

teen smow is how old ?

I think you should make the whole thing smow-centric and talk over with him his feelings - he did raise it with you [ pun semi intended ] so would talk about it.

The problem is that he looks like an adult but is still a teenager inside .....

[RATTER15]

I think that is very much out of order, it may be a one off, either report it or see if anything else happens to make your son uncomfortable, and then report it!

[B00]

Yes, it's odd, and I for one would be contacting the school about it.

[Smowball]

He is 16 and doing his GCSEs. He's actually quite a shy person with people he doesn't know. He said it really embarrassed him and he didn't know how to react.

[jakep]

I think it is inappropriate for anyone who works with teens to be making suggestive remarks. Unfortunately no one else was there.

[bhg481]

It sounds like a bit of light-hearted banter to me but you'd need to know the body-language used etc to make a proper judgement. The age of the teaching assistant is relevant too.

[Peter Pedant]

yes all of you

but the lad still has to learn what to do when remarks are taken the wrong way which is a life time skill he will need ... when mum isnt there

[Smowball]

Teenagers are rubbish at guessing people's age but he reckons she's around my age so she would be in her 40's

[Old_Geezer]

Was going a bit far, but as it's a one off I'd suggest he accepts the compliment and doesn't worry about it. Seems wrong to get a teachers' assistant into trouble for a short flirt. It's not like she arranged to meet him alone, he just arrived early and she was in a friendly mood.

I'm surprised he felt the need to talk about it, maybe the chat from mum will help him cope with flirts from anywhere in the future.

[Cloverjo]

I think it's highly inappropriate. She's probably not intending to seduce him, but she shouldn't be making remarks like that.
See if it happens again,and have a word with your son's head of year, if it does.
I had a male teacher who would flirt with the girls in his classes, and once tried to grope my friend while taking her home after she'd babysat his kids. It shouldn't happen.

[Smowball]

I think he just found it strange that someone his mums age would say things like that. I've told him to let me know if she says anything else at all. Don't want to cause any trouble at school really as he leaves next month

[Ken4155]

You should endeavour to have a private, friendly word with the teacher - not formally - and express your son's discomfort at the remarks she is alleged to have made. It could all be quite harmless and therefore no point in risking a person's career over it. Tread very carefully, mud sticks.

[bhg481]

I suspect that it's BECAUSE she's his mum's age that she feels able to make comments like that but I will agree that people in that sort of position should be very careful making remarks that can be misunderstood.

[bhg481]

Good thinking Ken4155.

[Prudie]

Yes it's difficult and I agree with Ken that mud sticks. Is she new in post?Just viewing it from a different angle because i was a secondary school teacher and possibly did say that kind of thing to both the older boys and girls not meaning anything iffy but than I'd known them and watched them grow from 11yrs so rather different scenario.

Again tread carefully and ask your son for more details - if she's new in post it could have just been a nervous if misguided approach to appear approachable and friendly.

[Sqad]

\\\she said oh yes keep growing as I like my men really tall and she winked at him!\\\

GOOd GOD!!!!..disgusting.....sexual assault!

Seems an innocuous remark to me. No, I don't think it is a bit odd.

[Peter Pedant]

heavens sqad I thought you would be asking for her name and address next !

[horselady]

Odd thing to say, put it this way, would you say something like that to one of your son's friends if you were alone in your house with him? There's banter of course, which is fun, but I think that was a bit iffy.

[woofgang]

I wonder how long she has been a TA? Its not an appropriate thing to say but it may just have been an example of letting mouth continue while brain is disengaged? Its possible that today she is curled up with embarrassment and wishing she had kept quiet....
As to reporting it...well I don’t know.....are you on confidential chatting terms with any of the other mums of teen’s year? On balance, if it was me, I think I would say something to someone.....

[Khandro]

Great! what an opportunity to learn, that's what teachers are for. He should go for it.