How To Write A Good Personal Statement?

[bobbydazzle]

Our son has been offered a place, subject to exam results, at a top private school for 6th Form entry. We are eligible for a full bursary and have already visited the school and he loves the place and the atmosphere,. It’s a bus ride from home so he would not be boarding. In a couple of weeks time he is going for an Entrance Day where they will be given tasks in their chosen A level subjects, which my son is actually looking forward to. What he is not looking forward to is writing a personal statement, which has to be done on the day. We have some guidelines on what they will expect: How do you think ( the school) can be of value you and how do you think you can be of value to ( the school). He should also include his interests and how he might integrate into the after school life. I thought I could give him some bullet points to practice but don’t know where to start. This is such a huge opportunity we don’t want to blow it.. His subjects will be Computer Science, Advanced Mathematics, Economics and Business Studies and his hobbies are building computers, game coding, shooting and riding his quad. I don’t want a written statement just advice on things he should include and how it should be written . Thank you if anyone can he

[murraymints]

bullet points

this is the golden opportunity to take advantage of first class education in his chosen sphere

The school has a good repuatation and can deliver all that is required to achieve his ambitions in life

He is dedicated to learning and achieving his goals

He is a team player makes friends easily and is keen to paricipate in extra curricular activies which may be on offer sports teams..clubs..societies etc

having visited the school he knows he will thrive under their tutelage and will also bring his own personal strengths to the school...(list what they are)

He will be a dedicated scholar and hopes to enhance their good reputation by demonstrating his own growth both of personal nature and education wise.

he is loyal hardworking honest and has holds high moral values and will strive to take his learning experience forward into the field he chooses to enter, his achievements will reflect the wonderful opportunities the school has to offer

[bobbydazzle]

Murraymints: wow! That is amazing how quick you did that , its just what I've been looking for. We have been told a 'short statement'. Have you any idea what this could mean? I thought about an A4 page? they have around 1 hour to write it and he does tend to go on and on without paragraphs, this is something we are going to have to practice!

[murraymints]

something that takes approx 10 mins to read out ..attention spans and interest tends to fade thereafter...have lots of public speaking behind me..

if he just lists his bullet points on a wee prompt card and memorises what to say under each heading..it will have more impact than reading from a sheet...it is important he looks at his audience and draws them into what he is saying

[murraymints]

and remember to thank his audience for this opportunity to speak at the end...

[murraymints]

also introduce himself at the beginning..good morning/afternoon I am..... and I am here today to explain why I would like to enter this renowned hall of learning....and what I consider I can give to you as well as what I can take from any time spent here

[bobbydazzle]

Thank you so much murraymints. D Day is Feb 4th so I will update on how it went.
Bobbi D

[murraymints]

my pleasure..good luck to the lad xx

[Cloverjo]

He's already been offered a place, so don't worry about this too much. It's probably just to see what they can do to help him reach his potential.
He should just get those exam results, which I'm sure he will.

[murraymints]

indeed Clover..more important to demonstrate dedication and good moral fibre/integrity

[EcclesCake]

Murraymints, has given a good advice.

One reservation I have are is hobbies which are solitary/remote activities. Unless he shoots as part of a team, he isn't demonstrating any team player qualities. Does he actively partake in any group activities which involve face to face contact?

[bobbydazzle]

Ecclescake, Very good point you have made about team activities. He is fairly solitary with this hobbies but attends LARP ( live action roleplay events) with his sister four times a year so we will include this is the statement. He also did his D of E Bronze last year. Thank you.

[EcclesCake]

Definitely make a point of mentioning the DofE, good schools are often great advocates of the scheme and it will demonstrate many of his qualities.

[jno]

when writing this sort of thing, have a look at the school's own prospectus to see what they think they offer.

School: we have a widely renowned economics department with particular emphasis on international trade systems..

Your son: as I take a great interest in international trade systems, I hope to make the most of your well-known economics teaching...

Well, you get the idea; don't cope the working too obviously, and stick to telling the truth, but remember they will be wanting him as much as he wants them.