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Should My Friend Leave University?
12 Answers
My friend has been studying as a paramedic for two year at uni. She will be entering her third year very soon. Long story short, she has been screwed over by the uni so many times and been consistently let down by the lecturers. Its just gotten to the point where she can't cope anymore. I think she wants to go home more than anything, but the stakes are high.
What will she do when she leaves? How will she deal with peoples expectations? Also, how will she cope with not bringing her childhood dream to fruition.
Just to give you some idea of how screwed over she's been, the paramedic team she goes out with on placement have stated 'the university has set you up for failure'
What will she do when she leaves? How will she deal with peoples expectations? Also, how will she cope with not bringing her childhood dream to fruition.
Just to give you some idea of how screwed over she's been, the paramedic team she goes out with on placement have stated 'the university has set you up for failure'
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She could just dig her heels in and try to get back on track... a list of how she feels let down by the uni to the principal and to her union may get people to listen. How have the uni set her up to fail...? What did the paramedics say about how she had been set up? Was it true or was she/they having a bad time at work that day? If she really wants to achieve her aim then she needs to concentrate on what is important to do to get there. Things have been very tough for everyone this past year so it really is time to work to get where you want to be...I would not want to waste a coupleof years of my life to get nowhere so I would nuckle down and get on with it. Every one is being blamed here but really how exactly has she been let down and how determined is she to get where she wants to be? Down to her to give it her best...with your help of course....Plan of action...??
Is there a mental health care team at the Uni? I honestly cannot believe that the whole of the university has got it in for one student although there may be problems with the course that she is on. "The university has set you up for failure" can mean many things, not all of them that its deliberate.
Question Update - More detail
So, basicaly, most of the problems revolve around the course lead (He's in charge of the whole department). He is a pretty evil man.
I'm reluctant to give too much detail...but I know that he's threatened my friend in the past. She was on the verge of launching a formal complaint against him, because he's done some really awful stuff, and he responded - in a private, one to one meeting - by saying that, ultimately, he was in charge of signing off her all of her sheets and grading her assignments, thereby implying that he would shoot her down if she caused any trouble.
My friend is one of the kindest, genuine, hardworking people on this planet and if she says that she's been threatened, then I believe her.
Moreover, this man is so terrible, that he's managed to scare away two of the courses greatest lecturers; they've both said as much, in confidence. They're leaving in February. They were a massive part of my friend support network and they knew exactly what type of man their superior was. They helped her a lot. Now...they're off - and in the middle of a pandemic no less (which should tell you how bad the situation is).
Additionally, the university took my friend off of placement for months and had virtually no contact with her during the first lockdown. She's back on placement now - pulling back to back 12 hour shifts, five days a week and balancing an obscene amount of school work to boot. She's been told that she has to cram all of her hours into a few months. She has to complete this thing called a pad (or something like that) and it usually takes a year. It's not possible. The paramedic team knows it is too. Which is why they said she's been set up to fail.
She comes home crying after every shift. She's tired, stressed, overworked and overwhelmed with an unrealistic amount of work, She's 21. Its killing her.
I think at this point its probably worth mentioning that this course offer their students almost 0 mental and emotional support. My friend started this course at 18 years old. They put her on placement with virtually no prep and, within a week, she witnessed her fist horrific death - car crash, a bad one. She'd never seen death before. She got no help for that. She can't sleep now, She's had insomnia for two years, since the course began. She looks ill, really ill.
I just don't know what to do...she's wanted to be a paramedic her whole life.
PS: the training which she has received from the uni, in general, has also been incredibly poor. Even if she passes this year, and goes on to third, there's no guarantee that she will be ready for the responsibilities of fully fledged para.
So, basicaly, most of the problems revolve around the course lead (He's in charge of the whole department). He is a pretty evil man.
I'm reluctant to give too much detail...but I know that he's threatened my friend in the past. She was on the verge of launching a formal complaint against him, because he's done some really awful stuff, and he responded - in a private, one to one meeting - by saying that, ultimately, he was in charge of signing off her all of her sheets and grading her assignments, thereby implying that he would shoot her down if she caused any trouble.
My friend is one of the kindest, genuine, hardworking people on this planet and if she says that she's been threatened, then I believe her.
Moreover, this man is so terrible, that he's managed to scare away two of the courses greatest lecturers; they've both said as much, in confidence. They're leaving in February. They were a massive part of my friend support network and they knew exactly what type of man their superior was. They helped her a lot. Now...they're off - and in the middle of a pandemic no less (which should tell you how bad the situation is).
Additionally, the university took my friend off of placement for months and had virtually no contact with her during the first lockdown. She's back on placement now - pulling back to back 12 hour shifts, five days a week and balancing an obscene amount of school work to boot. She's been told that she has to cram all of her hours into a few months. She has to complete this thing called a pad (or something like that) and it usually takes a year. It's not possible. The paramedic team knows it is too. Which is why they said she's been set up to fail.
She comes home crying after every shift. She's tired, stressed, overworked and overwhelmed with an unrealistic amount of work, She's 21. Its killing her.
I think at this point its probably worth mentioning that this course offer their students almost 0 mental and emotional support. My friend started this course at 18 years old. They put her on placement with virtually no prep and, within a week, she witnessed her fist horrific death - car crash, a bad one. She'd never seen death before. She got no help for that. She can't sleep now, She's had insomnia for two years, since the course began. She looks ill, really ill.
I just don't know what to do...she's wanted to be a paramedic her whole life.
PS: the training which she has received from the uni, in general, has also been incredibly poor. Even if she passes this year, and goes on to third, there's no guarantee that she will be ready for the responsibilities of fully fledged para.
Does she have much contact with other students on the course and are any of them having any similar issues? That could bolster any complaint if she does decide to make one, and make her feel less alone and vulnerable, if there are others.
There should be welfare support available through the Uni Students Union. She could contact them and ask if she could have a confidential chat with a welfare officer. If she's finding it difficult time wise with her placement and other Uni work, they may well be able to arrange for it to be done remotely, I'd be surprised if they didn't given the current issues. They may be able to advise on her options, how they might be able to help and any ongoing support that could be provided if she remains on her course.
It might also be worth checking if there is some kind of welfare lead on the paramedic team that she's on placement with, maybe some like of student placement welfare lead. I'd have thought there'd be some welfare support for the paramedics themselves, given the job, could they have someone who there could help her too? Especially with how she has been feeling after an early call on her placement. Talking to people who have been there and done the placements, the training, the job...and have dealt with other students on placement... they may have idea on options. Even to the extent of helping her to decide whether it is the right job for her, or whether it just not right at this time.
Talking to the paramedics she is out with too, I know there's an element of having to be tough for the job, but they all started somewhere and likely all have call outs that have really affected them. They might be able to help her with ways to help her deal with it.
It sounds like if she keeps going as she is she is risking cracking and making herself really poorly, especially with chronic insomnia on top of the stress and upset, long hours on placement and heavy workload. That could mean her having less control over what happens.
It really doesn't sound like a healthy place to be in, especially given the kind of placement she is on. I know she's learning and supervised, but the last thing she needs is to be making mistakes if she's exhausted, stressed etc...
Does she feel able to talk to her parents about what has been happening? A good chat with her GP is another good idea.
There should be welfare support available through the Uni Students Union. She could contact them and ask if she could have a confidential chat with a welfare officer. If she's finding it difficult time wise with her placement and other Uni work, they may well be able to arrange for it to be done remotely, I'd be surprised if they didn't given the current issues. They may be able to advise on her options, how they might be able to help and any ongoing support that could be provided if she remains on her course.
It might also be worth checking if there is some kind of welfare lead on the paramedic team that she's on placement with, maybe some like of student placement welfare lead. I'd have thought there'd be some welfare support for the paramedics themselves, given the job, could they have someone who there could help her too? Especially with how she has been feeling after an early call on her placement. Talking to people who have been there and done the placements, the training, the job...and have dealt with other students on placement... they may have idea on options. Even to the extent of helping her to decide whether it is the right job for her, or whether it just not right at this time.
Talking to the paramedics she is out with too, I know there's an element of having to be tough for the job, but they all started somewhere and likely all have call outs that have really affected them. They might be able to help her with ways to help her deal with it.
It sounds like if she keeps going as she is she is risking cracking and making herself really poorly, especially with chronic insomnia on top of the stress and upset, long hours on placement and heavy workload. That could mean her having less control over what happens.
It really doesn't sound like a healthy place to be in, especially given the kind of placement she is on. I know she's learning and supervised, but the last thing she needs is to be making mistakes if she's exhausted, stressed etc...
Does she feel able to talk to her parents about what has been happening? A good chat with her GP is another good idea.
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