Management Speak

[Rosie.]

I need to flag this issue. Let's scope it out. We really need to push the envelope here and I want blue-sky thinking. It's mission-critical that we find a way to incentivise staff so they are enabled to bring about clear client focus. Be proactive, not reactive, and the end scenario will be that with our work-arounds it will lead to a win-win solution for the business which will take us to the next level.

This is an example of how my line manager speaks. I get the feeling it's because he doesn't really know what he's talking about and feels that the more 'management speak' words and phrases he drops into his speech the cleverer and more successful it will make him look. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Has anyone got any tips for me on how I can keep a straight face as I don't think I can suppress the laughter much longer?

[nic2006]

oh dear - you are right he hasnt got a clue how to do his job and has been reading too many 'managers manuals'!!
Next time he doesnt something reactive just look at him and smile. He will know what you mean!

[aristotle]

I usually ask for an English translation which is perhaps why I've never got very far up the ladder!

[denisdenis]

Buy him a copy of The Office for Christmas.

[makemesmile]

Just take a look at bullsh1t bingo...
http://www.*************.net/cards/********/

Just print off a bingo card and see how much bullsh1t you can match up!

[makemesmile]

Ok, they censored me - try www.bullsh1tbingo.net/cards

(obviously substituting an i for the 1)

[Hapus]

Give him a good idea to implement, and say "lets run this up the flagpole and see who salutes it!"
But without laughing like a drain. I have had this term used in a meeting my a manager and I laughed in his face. Hysterically. He never used it again.

[doorkey]

I work in a jargonistic fueled job and I loved the cowdung bingo suggestion so much that I used it for a pretend training excerise and no more jargon. So far.

[WendyS]

Don't you just feel sorry for these types who don't realise how silly they make themselves appear to others.

Wait until Valentine's day and send him an anonymous card full of romantic "management speak".

Alternatively, tell him his department is having a competition to see how many "management speak" words they can hear him say in one day.

And if this doesn't work, get everybody else around you to start copying him in a loud voice, i.e. . "I'm making it my mission to go to the toilet where I shall aim to achieve my daily deliverables in under 3 minutes. This will represent an improvement of 50% on last week's target".