What should I do?

[GeordiePengy]

I'm potentially about to be offered what I perceive to be my ideal job. However, it involves moving nearly 200 miles, back to where I originate from and have many friends. My dilemma is that Mrs Pengy will be moving over 350 miles from her family and friends, something she'll find hard to cope with on a daily basis due to her 'restrictions'. Admittedly, she does have a close friend nearby to where we'd move too.

Whilst I'm ready and willing to take this job and happy to return 'home', it does involve significant relocation for Mrs Pengy and new adjustment. Something I feel quite worried about as I want to consider all implications and ramifications, especially for Mrs Pengy.

I'm quite happy in my current job, and I admit I'm very good at what I do, although I hate the politics, I can see this job changing for the worst in the future.

My question is, do I stay put and wait for another opportunity to come along, or go for the new job, and hope that Mrs Pengy can relocate successfully?

[raysparx1]

well, Geordie, we can't really advise you can we, this is very personal to you and mrs pengy, it is a big decision to make, so you two need to sit down, be completely open with each other about how you feel, what the future may hold if you stay where you are or what it may hold if you move, the main thing in life is to be happy, so to me if moving home and jobs makes you both happy no problem,do it, but go have a long chat with the mrs, good luck with whatever you both decide is best for you two, Ray

[scoobydooby]

From the way you've described your situation, I would say the decision lies with Mrs Pengy. Clearly, this new move isn't something you're prepared to take on regardless as you have concerns. Personally, I think moving to a new area would be exciting - I'd love the challenge of making new friends/getting a new job etc. However, it wouldn't be quite so bad for you both as you already know the area. Perhaps Mrs Pengy could work only part-time so that she could travel back now and again to visit friends? I hope you're able to come to a decision and make the most of this opportunity but good luck whatever you decide. Remember that if us Brits lived in the US, we'd think nothing of 350 miles!!!

[Shadow Man]

Work out how much time your Mrs actually spends with her friends in hours.

Then work out how long she will spend with them if she only saw them three or four times a year BUT the time was quality time. Say weekends away, holidays, etc.

In this scenario, you may discover that holistically your wife will actually spend more time with her friends when or if she moves away.

I hope that makes sense.

[Scarlett]

Do it. Relocate. You never know what will happen unless you try. GIve her lots of support and hopefully she will come to love your home town like you do. Make sure she is included and meets all your old friends, and encourage her to make a life for herself through work/hobbies etc so she can get her own set of mates too.

[bednobs]

nothing is set in stone, no decision is irreversible. I would talk to her but you can always come back if its disasterous

[bednobs]

you dont sat what her restrictions are, but are you able to tell us: are they pyhsical or emotional?

[O'Reilly]

You are married and so you are a unit - a pair. Did you not discuss with your wife thoughts about job hunting further afield before you considered yourself as an applicant to the job that you have now been offered? Seems to me that you have gone ahead on your own and got yourself a job and did not discuss it with your wife beforehand so now you have a guilt conscience and are thinking of your wife (and you should have put her views and opinions and considered her thoughts before any new job you applied for) If you are quite happy in your current job then why uproot? Actually - stop treating your wife like a slave and start to ask her opinion first and foremost before you think about job changing out of the area in which you live. That is before you think about applying and getting a job. Talk to her first as your other half then worry about her opinion before posting a daft question on AB that you hope will back you up.!

[Scarlett]

That was a bit harsh... It seems to me that anyone can be potentially about to be offered a job that will take them elsewhere. geordie didn't necessarily go looking for it.

[Doc Spock]

Looks like Geordiepeny cannot be @rsed checking his replies to stupid question

[bednobs]

blimey, slightly worrying as to how you know the answers havent been checked!
this post was only posted 12 hours ago, some people have better things to do with their lives than the rest of us. Perhaps he has gone out for the day to the seaside, but hasn't had the "courtesy" to tell us all abut it like you would?

[leelapops]

Nothing to say on the subject that hasn't been said already, I just wanted to let you know, bednobs, that I am still laughing at your comment!!! x

[GeordiePengy]

To those who posted constructive comments, thank you - appreciated.

To those who thought that the question was stupid, thanks for being so concerned and moved to let me know. Obviously you feel better by getting that off your chest. What may seem a stupid question to one person, is pertinant to another.

Sorry for not posting this earlier. I've been to sleep, work, eaten, and spoken to friends. Think it's referred to as a life....

The who situation has been discussed with Mrs Pengy (who incidentally isn't my wife - work that one out if you can!) right from Day One, so she has been fully aware. Whilst she has been supportive, I do wonder if she is being so purely for my benefit, rather than considering herself. Me being considerate, wanted to ensure that I was doing right by her. I was therefore hoping that someone else out there might have gone through a similar experience. After all, this is what AB is all about, tapping into other peoples knowledge and experience.

Maybe I could have worded the question better.

In hindsight 'bednobs', her 'restriction' is probably irrelevant, so ignore that from the original post.

'Doc Spock' and 'O'Reilly', if you ever post what I feel is a stupid question, I'll be sure to let you know, unless that is my life gets in the way.

[sleepy1]

mrs you told me you was single ...........just about sums you up

[sleepy1]

mrs pengy is she your wife ? im lost !!!!

[sleepy1]

you told me you was single .....................

[sleepy1]

no answer to that then i see !!!

[sleepy1]

still no answer lol you talking about your dog then ?