How to make my point about a colleague

[HJT40]

I have worked here for over two years. I live in a company property, but pay rent, like any other tenant. However, when anything is done to my house, by my employers one of my colleagues, in accounts, thinks nothing of wafting invoices under my nose. He also lives in a company property, but is lucky enough to have this rent free, with all bills paid for (I think). The company pay for my heating oil and I pay them back monthly, yet a new bill comes in and I am asked what I am going to do about it. It is not just this, there are two other women on our floor and depending on his mood, depends on how the atmosphere is.

Not only this but when something goes wrong he always tries to apportion blame elsewhere, yesterday it was me.

The whole thing to me is oppresive. I feel I need to make my point, but I don't know how best to do it.

[mandimoo]

he doesnt sound like he is conducting himself in a professional manner and could even be construed to be bullying. you have the right to work in a non oppresive environment and there may be something in your company handbook that outlines this. can you speak to his boss, or human resources 'off the record' and see what transpires?

[wonkon-wonk]

fist............mouth..............sorted!

[HJT40]

Thank you for your reply. We don't have a company handbook or any sort of grievance procedure in place. The best that we are normally told is to try and ignore it. I have been here 2 years, he has been here 20+ years. He also speaks louder when he is trying to make his point, I think this makes him believe that he is right.

He is not, and never has been professional, but I appear to be working in a place where it is male orientated and not far from the dark ages!

I want someone to know that I am now taking this seriously and I would like them to do so as well.

[wonkon-wonk]

I was serious!

[HJT40]

wonkon, believe me I and other people have thought about it! But then that would make us as bad as he is!

[HJT40]

And as if by magic he appears again to point out something else............................. Argh!

I really feel like going home and not coming back...

[cassa333]

OK, so he is in accounts, who is his boss? Is your home tied to your job? and is the rent etc you pay the going rate or cheap?

If it isn't cheap and it is possible why not move? (last resort obviously)

The only thing I can see is have a quite word with him and say something along the lines of this is a personal matter and you would appreciate it if he didn't broadcast your accomodation details around and that just because he has everything free doesn't mean he can lord it over you.

In fact if he is such an ******* tell that to your boss (or his). Point out how demeaning it is to be constantly made to feel belittled.

Also if he tries to blame you for something he did, point it out there and then. Don't brood over it just pipe up come on 'frank' you know that wasn't me. If everyone he picks on starts doing it he will soon get the message.

With pompas bullys like that you have to stick together...

[cassa333]

Also you could say that in future you want all paperwork, bills etc given to you in a sealed envolope. It is after all personal.

[HJT40]

Thank you for your replies.

I have just got in to work to find that he has been discussing the payments of my oil bill with someone else in accounts, in earshot of another colleague.

I pay market rent for my property, with no favours whatsoever and not tied to my job. My boss is the Land Agent who is in charge of the office, but is not very good at dealing with matters like this and is the one who suggests I ignore it.

I must admit that I do now resent the fact that he knows so much about my finances, it is almost like having a debt collector in my own office.

I will speak to my boss this afternoon.

[R1Geezer]

Next time he does it just stand up in the office and say, loadly oh by the way while you where out the results of your syphilis test came back, looks like you're ******* glass for a fortnight mate. Have a whole list of emabarrassing things and shout them at the top of your voice each time he says something. He'll soon learn.

[saxy_jag]

For a start, this bloke isn't your boss, so you don't need to explain yourself to him. Secondly, your personal affairs - your finances and bills - are none of his business except inasmuch as he deals with the invoices. But he's well out of order discussing them with other colleagues. It's a breach of confidentiality which must be taken seriously.

[Lil O'lady]

In all honesty I'd plan for moving on. It's never a good idea to have your work rule life away from the office, in any form

[Tups]

I agree. Most unhealthy!